caveat lector

Recap

2009-08-20T23:11:00.003+08:00

Ah... things are running a bit too smoothly for me - work, that is, but still waaaayyy too voluminous - especially after the lousy quarterly meetings mentioned two posts back. One good thing that really made my day (that day) was that the President (and others, in fact) is very pleased with my first-ever-self-compiled magazine. Thank goodness! - all I had was three perpetually-interrupted weeks to work on it. Frankly, if I had more time, I would be more satisfied with the outcome. The creative team that did this was not very... accommodating. Thus I have been seeking other services, demanding qualities of this and that like a snoot on steroids. If not for the budget constraints I have to work with, my choice vendor/supplier will be a few steps closer to early retirement.

Oh... something just bothered my mind: I have yet to receive my confirmation letter for my appointment - my probation period has lapsed almost a month ago - even though I have emailed the HR. Oh well, if there ain't gonna be that minor raise then I won't give a damn.

Back to the track. After that meeting, I know my boss had a difficult time. I can tell, even when being absent from it. So come Monday (the meeting was on a Saturday), I called him up to gather what we were supposed to discuss on - because our meeting hour was snatched by another big shot - and also to vent my exasperations. Sometimes, I do not know who really is my boss. Him? Him? Him?

It is no wonder that they (other than my direct boss) have mistaken me for someone else. I am me, take a closer look. Hello, I am NOT that fellow who left. Since I stepped in I have spent half the time trying to... hmm, turn his Shakespeare into The Archies, i.e. make his highly unnecessarily sophisticated procedures and protocols more digestible. And it's no a few hours' or a day's challenge - it's almost a week's toil just doing that for ONE friggin' category!

Also, I am only helping out the other board's concerns and what-nots because no one else wants to or can take charge of it. My other colleagues do not possess the experience to utter on behalf of such matters; one started really late in the organisation, the other never did, and the other one... he is mashed potato to me. And with an attitude that he has, he is tarnishing the standard of service as expected of a staff based in Central region. I am eschewing on how in God's name he made fulltime. When you offer too much grace to one person, you risk losing the respect you get from others.

So how can things go smoothly for me? I just do my thing and pretend to listen to them.

Okay. Enough bitching about others. I tend to digress.

My boss was shocked that I have that many tasks in the office. At least now he understands why I cannot fully commit to my real tasks. He told me he has requested for a revision on the employment in the office. All I hear after that from the office was: Don't pressure yourself too much.

What?! I do not, I repeat, I do not pressure myself in work matters. They, of minds too devolved to conceive how tangled up things are in the office and yet continue to expect so much to be done in so short a time, do.

That ain't the worst. Somebody is trying to induce willingness for outside-office-hours' involvements. I beg your pardon, for unlike you that you have eased alot of burdens and possibly feel that your life is starting to slow down and wish to satisfy some self-actualisation, count me out. Mine is just at beginning. I will absolutely not bring work home, be on your beck-and-call, nor allow anything to derail me from living the life as I see fit.

I love this job, but I do not necessarily like every task that comes along, or the people associated with it.

Kids... say the darnest things!

2009-08-05T10:42:00.001+08:00

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No,that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

(Drum roll: Ba-dup-bish!)

Screw it

2009-07-25T14:30:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the beginning of the third quarterly-meeting for my organisation's top brass, including my bosses - gee, I have two to answer to, or so I thought.

The earlier plan was that I meet up with my direct boss - the one whose department I am under - at half past three (afternoon of course). So I arrived at the hotel conference room and saw my boss at the end of the long table with the hoard from the other board. That board's boss said, "Eh Rick, where have you been? We can't start without you la!" Static. "You are the development officer what, who else can we turn to?" Sweat.

My boss retorted to him, "Sorry ah Mr. Justin Timberlake (sorry dude, I needed a quick pseudonym), I actually booked him for our board's meeting."

"Oh? Never mind la, queue up."

I could see the spiking discomfort on my boss's face. Tension.

So after about an hour - covering issues I consider highly trivial - I finally got to have a short meeting with my boss. Thank God he is the understanding sort. We can always communicate via phone call on one of this weekdays.

Just as I was about to leave - as I have planned so - another fellow came up to me and asked, "Hey Rick, what time will you be around tomorrow?"
"Er, I won't be around tomorrow."
"What? How can? You are the development officer, you HAVE to be around in the meeting!"
(Gee, can you all come up with a new line?)
"I have consulted Mr. Simon Cowell (our Human Resource officer); he said I need not be around."
"What? How can? You are the development officer, you HAVE to be around in the meeting!"
........
(I rest my case)

I ain't turning up. Glee.

So blessed am I...

2009-07-08T20:55:00.015+08:00

Apologies for the long hiatus from blogging. My hands were heavily laden with tasks upon tasks, and... wait. Why am I even apologising? This is my blog after all. *Finger*

Other than being bogged down by work, there have been occasions when people induce my venomous words, acts and conspiracies - all in thought only - and the recurring rate can be alarming, even for my marked diplomacy. Oh, for the want of a lawless country, I'd be... never mind. All of you should thank God for the Angel in my life who has kept me fused to the social grid that so earned my inconformity. For a long time, I have chosen to stand out from the community rather than to blend in. I guess now having a balance between both extremes ain't too bad either. Otherwise I'd be a much difficult person than I already am to deal with. After much pondering and consulting what little God-given wisdom I have, I shall just let people be, hold my peace, roll my eyes and leave them to dwell in full glory of their bothersome pettiness and delirium. Really.

Let us shelf all that away for now.

I figure by now some of you might wonder: how is it like in my workplace? Well, it is a cosy lil' single-storey semi-detached house, with enough lawn for six cars. How bout that, eh? But I prefer to park outside. That way, I need not wait for others to move their cars when I need to leave. *Smug*

And heeeerrrreeee'sssss my cubicle:

Tight little spot, is it not?
I have mild claustrophobia, especially when I have to sit for long hours.

Then I went zip-zaping the place, i.e. move things around abit and voila! here is what it looks like now:
Well it still need some minor improvements. Those can wait. It is much more comfortable now. The phone was deliberately placed far from my desk; I need opportunities to turn away from the screen and move about for blood flow. That cork-board from IKEA, nice touch eh? I agree with you.

I also got two Fabian wall shelves from IKEA (currently function as a mat for my coveted laptop bag - I will come to that, later). Then I learnt why I have never seen any wall shelves installed in the office since I have known it ten years ago: old house, low-cost cement, all driven-in nails were only to hold framed photos. Drat. I planned to shelf books on them, quite a number of books too. A hardware shop-owner advised me: get a hammer-drill. Whhhaaaattt? Who can I borrow that from? I shall spare some thought on that when I have the time...

My mess, the way I like it. The cabinet is for my particular use. Nifty.

Okay. There are many reasons why people go ooh-ahh over my laptop bag - it is a Logitech KINETIK 15.4 Backpack. Whatever, I don't care. It is supposed to house a 15-inch machine but my 16-inch slides in effortlessly - there is still extra space! I guess it can very well cater for MacBook owners.

This bag means alot to me - because my Angel bought it for me. Thank you sweetie! *Smooch*. With its lifetime waranty, I may not need eye another for the next five years (I usually change bags every year). Its heavily padded straps provide superior comfort for the ergo-maniacs like myself. I said ERGO, as in ergonomic. Sheesh.

I just cannot ignore its cool zippers.

The detail of the Logitech logo on the exoshell.

Even for all the bag's splendid design, it has one major drawback: the exoshell gets scratched very easily.

Check out all the battle-scars it earned:

One thing's for sure: it will protect your beloved machine well - very well - for a bag with a RM300+ price tag. Apparently, when carrying your machine, it is supposed to balance well and stand, which does not happen often enough for me. I shall try taking out some peripherals next time. Heh.

If you are free...

2009-06-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

This is a must watched! Get ready to laugh.

Ultraman Brothers!

2009-05-29T14:19:00.001+08:00

This is one video I am so tickled over.

Blog Post Review

2009-05-19T17:13:00.002+08:00

The Story and Struggle of Marriage

Posted using ShareThis

Plainly beautiful

2009-05-18T12:02:00.002+08:00

This is such a simple song and lacks the thrill I usually desire in a song. Yet I am hooked to it. No idea why.

Awesome

2009-05-16T17:03:00.001+08:00

Just one of the very few videos that arrests my mind and hence my movements.

en garde...

2009-05-12T16:12:00.004+08:00

This post is in response to Tim's post.

News, hearsays or stories that tell of victimised good Samaritans never fail to burst my anger bubble. Yeah. God tells us to love our neighbour and one another. But I am tapping on God's given wisdom and vigilance to not be at the victim's end, and "raise shields" at all times. Nothing is worth compromising one's own security. I always wish I have the license to carry a "neutraliser" to play Judge Dread and defend myself and my loved ones at any cost.

In all honesty, I often carry coins for mobile beggars just so that they will go away when they approach (I already have hygiene and odour issues among my friends, what more of strangers). What happens in survival camps then? Being covered in jungle dirt is one thing, but I definitely will not go hands-on with any of them unless a non-penetrable radioactive suit is provided.

Even as I look sadly on them, I cannot help asking where are the all the social organisations that boast about their charity? What is the government's initiative on the homeless, less-educated and deprived? I do not know about the rest of you, I deem those who are against or trying to stain the capitalist world, are just so blind, repulsively ungrateful and lazy ****ers to the core.

Call me a cynic, but if you ain't "fit", you will not "survive". I am just being realistic.

Blast from the past

2009-05-05T11:54:00.003+08:00

Ooh, just found this today. I forgot I have ever written for a whole page. Rummaging in the office feels like archeology.

November 2004
(Click to enlarge)

The Aftermath

2009-04-26T12:46:00.006+08:00

The rest of the days after the previous post were strenuous; I have never been so brimmed with preparations for a two-day event. For all the state meetings I have had a hand in, nothing can match this national level one.

Mixed feelings. Tensed, most of the time.

What an eye-opener.

I really enjoyed the legal debate. Nothing cracks me up more than a legal advisor's sarcasm, especially with a funny voice.

Being the very new kid on the block, my boss made a formal introduction for me. Instantly, I felt the mounting pressure as all eyes zeroed in on me with the oh-so-he's-handling-all-these-now look. I am sure I saw glowing red eyes. I can expect more calls and emails tomorrow onwards. In fact, yesterday I received some files to be processed already.

Some people really tick me off. Why so hung up for recognition or awards? Make one on your own then - advertise in the papers too, just for kicks. As veterans, they can claim to forget rules or policies. (censored)

I love friends from the far East, so warm and welcoming, even at first meeting.

Well... I know what to expect for next year's. Just wish that the volume of preparations would come gradually rather than surprise.

I am lazying for this week, then gearing up again for the next wave of work.

Parenting

2009-04-22T10:47:00.005+08:00

Keep your hair down. I ain't gonna be a father just yet. But I have often pondered on parenting. Perhaps it is because of my mixed feelings towards my parents, how thankful I am for their parenting to mould me into the Rick I am today.

Just last evening, during one of many cherished moments - dinner with my dearest - we observed a plump kid fixated on his PSP. She asked me, "Would you get our (future) child a PSP/Gameboy?". Without much thought, I said no - never in my life will I buy such a thing for a child. Musical instruments or outdoor sport equipment, no problem! but NEVER a gaming console. Unless he/she works for it.

You may think what a prudish dad Rick will be! He probably had suffered childhood deprivation.

Nay.

As much as I can recall, I had many toys, action figures and even scored fairly well in Mario Bros 3. None of those survived today. I even bought myself my first ever Gameboy Light, for friggin' 400 bucks, only to sell it away a couple of years later for 50 bucks to a good otaku friend. I roamed the streets and roads pretty often on my then trustee Lerun mountain bike with equally crazy friends.

Back to the plump kid. There was a young lady/woman seated next to him; possibly his elder sister or mother. Not even a single exchange of words. Maybe they were engaged in a higher form of communication -ESP? Nevertheless, I think to myself: the kid's parents do not really love him. Plump and gaming endlessly. I am widely known for being an anti-gamer, finding much disgust in my brother's addiction that each time he sits with his eyes glued to the screen I imagine his soul withering away.

Lo and behold, I received a viral email early this morning that affirms what I mentioned in my previous post: the greatest currency of Love is time. I instantly reek of smugness.

Spending Time with our young children is Love

Practically all parents consider their children as their most important asset. So we send them for additional lessons in music, art, computer, speech and drama, dance, ballet, tennis, etc. We also buy for them expensive toys, computer games, etc. to keep them occupied. We think that by doing so we are giving them a head start in life. But we seldom stop to ask ourselves whether we have equipped them for a life of self-worth and confidence. Why do I say that?

It has been said that by the time a child is seven years old; his attitude is set for life. And when our young child constantly pelts us with his questions, (and we are hard pressed by our furiously competitive jobs) how do we normally respond? Have we stopped and reflected on our attitude towards his insatiable questioning?

Now consider for a moment, a child coming into a room to ask Dad or Mom questions or to invite Mom or Dad to play with him or to request spending time with Dad or Mom, but the parent frequently says, “I’m too busy now.” What does that signal to the child? To the child the message is perceived as. “To Dad, I’m not as important as the newspaper he is reading or the time he spends doing his work at the computer. To Mom, I’m not worth as much as her soap opera on television.”

We forget that children rarely want to spend much time in conversation with their parents. Yes, they ask lots of questions and when they get the answers, they then move on to the next thing that captures their attention. They may sit close a while, perhaps give or receive a hug, and then they are off.

If you are a parent, I would encourage you to make time for your child when your child needs a moment. Most chores can be postponed for a few seconds or minutes. Most activities can be interrupted without you suffering harm or losing out on important information. If you must delay your response to your child for a minute or two, call your child to your side and put your arm around him so that you convey the message, “I want you close to me. I like being with you. I’m not rejecting you, merely delaying my response to your question for a few moments.”

We don’t think of the harm we are doing to their adult life when we fail to give them the time they need. Imagine what it is like whenever we go and talk to our boss and our boss frequently has no time for us. Our confidence will be shattered and our self-worth will plunge drastically. What about the child when we unthinkingly do the same? Have we spent time reflecting on this? Have I unconsciously sent a message to my child that might be summed up, “What I want to do is vastly more important than whatever pain I cause you.” This message will be internalized by the child as “I am not worth being around” “I am not worthy to be appreciated and noticed” and it will show up later in his life as a lack of self-worth.

Parents, who make time to informally tutor their child and not scold them whenever the child asks question, will give the child a very strong sense of self-identity and self-worth. They affirm their child. They give their attention to their child. They acknowledge to the child that he is important and worth listening to. The child will have this intuitive sense that, “I am important to my parents. I am so important that they want the very best for me, including the very best education they believe they can give to me. I am so important that they are willing to spend time and energy with me. My parents believe I have the ability to learn and are willing to teach me, and therefore, I must be able to learn well.” A cycle is created: the child is encouraged, the child feels worthy, and the child makes an even bigger effort in learning as a result of the feelings of self-worth. So the child achieves more and learns more. Through his accomplishments and the resulting praises and cheers from the parents, the child has an enhanced feeling of self-worth and the cycle goes round again.

Unfortunately today, we have a mantra that many parents repeat by saying, “I spend quality time with my child and I don’t need quantity time with my child.” They delude themselves! A child, who often does not feel he has access to his parents when he needs the access, does not feel he is loved. He will feel ignored, shunned, insecure and of less worth. Such a child will inevitably have problem with his sense of self-worth later on in life.

The essence of our love for our children is not what we provide for them, but how much we give of ourselves to them. Men, in particular, often don’t understand this. Many have said, “I don’t understand my children. I provide them with everything they need. They don’t appreciate my hard work for them. What more do they want?” They want you! Your ears, your attention, your presence--- Yes your time. “What that must be a joke. Where do I find the time in my stressful life?” you say.

Your most precious gift is your time. Only when you give up your (leisure, computer, game, social, TV, etc) time, do you truly prove your love for your children. Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love. Thus, you show your love in action and not in words only.

Source: James Lau

Thus far...

2009-04-21T02:10:00.000+08:00

It is still Easter season. Other than my previous post, I have nothing fanciful to share that can prompt new believers; if you do - you do, otherwise... heh. It is your choice.

Back to my usual tech-addict self. This post really is, not for the narrow-minded or Communists.

I love custommade items. I love customising. I simply... love customisation. That explains why I am hooked on listening to and learning about specialists. Being a specialist means much more than being a professional. You can be a blacksmith, a professional, but when you are highly skilled at and only make certain items out of the many that a blacksmith can, then you are a specialist. You can be a highly trained combatant, a professional soldier. But if you narrow down to honing only stealth skills, then you are specialist.

I customise everything that I possibly can, even the most intangible things. That way, everything is up to my liking and fits my lifestyle nicely. How would I not be pleased?

Where on earth am I going with this...

Dang. I have so much to convey. On second thought, *pouts* nah. Worthy ears have already taken in my woes, what is the point of further thrashing it here? At least worthy eyes are able to decipher codes I leave around.

Only a select few feels my warmth, understands how my mind is wired, hence why I do or say certain things.

I am highly apathetic to many things - especially if it involves humans - chief above all is what others think of and feel about me.

There is only so much one can rely on people beyond the bloodline, and rare are those one can absolutely trust in a lifetime.

One new lesson that should be etched in stone: only tell your innermost issues to those who really cares, _______________________. Be cautious!

My job is really picking up momentum. Interesting but taxing. Very taxing.

The greatest currency of Love is time. And someone's bank should be pretty full of it by now. Hee.

Who is He?

2009-04-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

In Chemistry, He turned water into wine;

In Biology, He was born without normal conception;

In Physics, He disproved the Law of Gravity when He ascended into Heaven;

In Economics, He disproved the Law of Diminishing Returns by feeding 5000 men with 5 fishes and 2 loaves of bread;

In Medicine, He cured the sick and the blind without administering a single dose of drug;

In History, He is the Beginning and the End;

In Government, He said that He shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, and no one comes to the Father except through Him;

He is JESUS: the Greatest Man in History.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called Him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared Him, King of Kings...

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world, Conqueror...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him, Lamb of God...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today, Son of God.

Hallelujah! Jesus is alive!

Verified

2009-03-17T11:24:00.007+08:00

I touched down in KL last night, and after a sweet dinner with Feleh in Zanmai I dropped dead on my bed; a BB training camp after a three-year break ain't something I am cut up for.

Nevertheless, I am back in the office today, only to see my Gmail flooded with emails - questions, questions, questions. I will have a two-day off starting tomorrow, replacement leaves for my stint during the weekend in Penang.

While glancing through some blogs, I stole time to do a trivial personality test, just for glee. And it turns out to be 90% true about me. Please consider the fonts in blue with the benefit of doubt.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Phase 2

2009-03-12T16:57:00.003+08:00

Wow. I did not expect myself to have neglected blogging for two weeks. Oh well.

My working life is starting to come together. If my recollection is reliable, I mentioned starting off as half-noob, even though it is one that I grew up in. It is amazing what a three-year hiatus can do to one's memory. But my position has a nice ride: fame. Suddenly everyone knows my name. Sure, I mingled much with the top ranks often enough even as a young Officer - my short stint in my current workplace during my summer breaks channelled more of them to my attention, and got me to places too. It is now a job.

The younger generation already knows my face from the recruitment video that was made back in 2001 - when I was much much much fitter! And darker as well. In skin, and anger management. I cannot help snicker at my old self when I view the video now. I wish they did not label me as Rex Torturous. Too late. That old image of mine has been so ingrained that stories passed on. I thought they'd cease from verbal circulation when I left the organisation for good in 2006 (or so it seems now); I stepped into the office this year with a fresh and renewed mentality over the struggles of my past with the organisation, only to meet an Officer days ago and he quipped "I've heard tales about you..." for a tease. Ha. There goes my escape route from my dreadful reputation. This applies only to KL, mind you.

Back in 2005, while I was improving the Drill Manual, one Officer called me "hell-bent on perfection". What can I say? I was just overwhelming passionate. I guess I am quite the contrary now, in regards to this organisation. It is now a job.

It is good to be remembered and known for the talents that one has vested. My time has past. If I as much as agree to help in one drill session, others will come harping for assistance. Ergo, no. Such service used to be carried out by volunteers even as I did waaaaaaaaay back. Where have all the NCOs gone? The irony of my position is due to these:

1. I am the only full-time staff to be of rank-and-file, so most of them identify with me easily.

2. New Officers are of my generation; now there is a familiar face in the office.

3. All members must undergo the national training to obtain the coveted awards. No prize for guessing who handles and approves the paperwork. It is a job now.

Tomorrow I will be away on my first assignment, up in Penang. No laksa, no char kuey teow. It is training time. It is now a job.

On a different note, I am truly enjoying the other aspects of my life - the before and after working hours. *Beam*

Lent

2009-02-25T22:56:00.010+08:00

So today marks the beginning of Lent season.

I almost did not make it to the prayer meeting. I was hopeful, that my dad would ring me up and head to Digital Mall to purchase my notebook. But he sent me to Pyramid to check out potential booths. It turns out that none of them carries the model I have set on. Then he became unavailable, and I wondered when will we be mutually free again. Thus I ended up in church - late but I made it.

I also wondered if I can be absent from prayer meetings without any reason, that sometimes I just do not wish to go? Be reminded that what the church thinks about me has no influence on me. God be my Judge. I prefer to pray about things in my own time, if not often privately. Just email the items to me.

I cannot claim that I am always glad to have been in church more than for the weekly sermon. Some events may interest me much. For these, I am willing. There you go, thinking I am being a lousy Christian. Carry on, if that makes you feel any better. I am unfazed. I shall try not to think "In all as a person, are you any better?" Whoops. Too late.

Not only was tonite's prayer meeting good (though I dragged my feet there), it was necessary for my predicament. Having lost my notebook along with all the precious files stored inside, derailed my usual course of behaviour. The message was simple: let go, let God. In life, death, everything.

Instantly, I realised why my efficiency and productivity plummeted; instead of God, I have been relying overwhelmingly on technology to accomplish many things. Yeah tech helps, but God achieves. And in God, I shall overcome this over-dependence, or more accurately - addiction.

So this Lent season, apart from steering clear off Starbucks and other coffee beverages, I have to fast my dependence on technology. That means to do things with the least degree of technology involved and not utilise my notebook unless it involves my job, and spend that attention on God instead. Having said that, I shall blog only once a week now, until come Easter Sunday.

Have a meaningful Lent season.

Me 25 random truths

2009-02-23T13:18:00.005+08:00

1. I love her so much. Revealing just how much might throw you into space or turn you into stone.

2. I love my parents, unquestionably. But we communicate in ways only a few can understand.

3. I am obnoxiously biased. She knows well of it, and I'm glad:)

4. I am so individualistic that people read me as arrogant. I don't care:)

5. I'd rather be kind than right. Otherwise, I'd rather be honest about it, than to fake it.

6. I'd rather be hurt by the truth than to be poisoned by honey-coated words.

7. Other than people I really care for, I react to else persons with utmost objectiveness; my emotions are expensive.

8. Other than for a few key people, else persons' words or actions have negligible influence on mine.

9. Close friends, I have a few. We do not even meet often. But when we do, it is always good.

10. For me, there is a significant gap between loved ones and close friends, a huge gap between close friends and friends, and an even larger gap between friends and acquaintances.

11. I can feel good/bad about a person even without positive/negative language form (body or verbal).

12. I can eat and work well with people I love as trash.

13. I hate sentences beginning with "If you love God, you will... ".

14. I hate people who ask for honest opinions then later rebuke me for giving any.

15. I have an amazing pair of ears; they filter out alot of words I deem trivial, or register nonsense talk as noise.

16. I have a more amazing nose. It does not look better than most guy's, it just has a more acute sense of smell. And aroma is extremely important to me:)

17. Contrary to most of my old friends' assumptions, I do take vegetables - very much more now:)

18. Contrary to everyone's assumptions, I ain't stone cold. I just handle my expressions very well.

19. I am addicted to tech. I just cannot afford most of it.

20. I am addicted to comfortable apparel; I am willing to splurge on a few good ones.

21. My brain is wired differently - it's a mess, but it works for me:)

22. My priorities in life are mine (ours) to decide - I reap what I sow.

23. I love pizza. Too much Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles during childhood.

24. I love robots. Too much Transformers and other robot animations during childhood.

25. I abhor people who do not respect privacy. Independent of your relation to me, what I have to tell you is only for you to know, and not to be discussed with else person(s) without my prior consent.

Hunt

2009-02-20T11:30:00.002+08:00

Okay.

Gee, this feeling is nostalgic. I am on the prowl for a new machine. Fujitsu has quite a gravity on me though. Any suggestions?

No Mac.

No Acer.

No Dell.

No Lenovo.

No Sony.

No FTec.

All else, please justify.

Gone

2009-02-19T11:38:00.002+08:00

I lost my trustee digital companion last night. What a fool, what a fool that I am! I left it inside the car, at the footrest behind my driver's seat, thinking no one would see it. I parked just outside a pharmacy, with a walkway where people are strolling about. What could happen? Who would dare?

After a healthy meal, we went back to the car and happily drove off. When I reached behind my seat, I felt something dreaded so often: nothing. I felt my hair raised and skin tightened, and frantically look for hers too. Gone. My mind was instantly flooded with words, and they are: no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...............................

The guilt and remorse that overwhelmed me was grave. But still she makes me smile. It was less heavy for my heart if only mine was taken. Thankfully still, her actual one is still in her possession; I insisted she use my spare Acer or Fujitsu, whichever that is up to her fancy. At least she still get to revert back to something.

We wished they would have left our external drives alone and just take the notebooks, hence allowing the privacy of our respective data. Should anything funny turns up in cyberspace, please clarify with us. Not that we have any files that are of Edison Chen- or Elisabeth Wong- quality, but Photoshop is easy to learn and use to manipulate photos to the culprits' delight. How could they?

I do not blame mom, though I have time and time again seek her consent to fix the car's alarm system. Then again, even if it is functioning well, the fault does not point else person but me.

The economy crisis affects everyone. I guess someone is just trying to make ends meet, one way or another. Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they do.

I praise God still, and am thankful that both of us are unharmed at all. I am glad that in this catastrophe, she stood still by my side. I am so much more in love with her, for she comforted me so, when I am most vulnerable. Thank you dear. Thank you so much.

Thank You too.

Tried and true

2009-02-17T12:28:00.004+08:00

12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you.You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number SEVEN is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

Judge, me?

2009-02-16T15:21:00.004+08:00

Am I not a guy because...

I do not discuss politics?

I vest selective interest in automobiles?

I am ignorant about football?

I dislike 99% of most PC/virtual games?

I like shopping for household items?

Am I a marginalised Christian because...

I do not worship or pray like most Christians, or even those in church?

I vest selective interest in church ministries, activities or events?

I am ignorant to who is this or that in the people of God's circle?

I dislike over-graciousness, especially when on stage?

I like Western culture over Asian, apparently it seems worldly from your eyes?

Refrain from telling me, I allocate no room for trifles. To digest it for you: I don't care.

I do what is practical and necessary, many of which are independent of Right and Wrong.

I audibly attack actions and motives, never the person, and I do so with utmost objectiveness. None of these are worthy of my emotions.

I know who and what is important in my life, and I risk it all from such - everything else just falls into place. Reaping what I sow is something I do best. So let me be. Let it be.

You've got to love skin as thick as mine.

The Wait

2009-02-11T11:11:00.002+08:00

Waiting On A Woman

Brad Paisley

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
''You waitin' on a woman?''
I nodded yeah and said, ''How 'bout you?''
He said, ''Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman.''

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on.''
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

He said, ''The wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman.''
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, ''I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman.''

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman...

Immortal Jellyfish

2009-02-04T14:42:00.003+08:00

Just when you thought we didn't have enough problems, a type of immortal jellyfish is making a move for world domination. Apparently they become younger after they procreate.

I welcome our jellyfish overlords. We humans like to think we're the pinnacle of evolution but the evidence doesn't support that theory. Let's see how we compare to jellyfish.

Starting with the obvious, when we humans become old we pay big money to inject rat poison in our foreheads so we won't look like this:

When Jellyfish get old they just hump their way back to childhood and start over. Seriously, who has the better system?

When humans want to find a mate they use online dating services and interview many strangers, at least half of whom have club feet and criminal records.

Jellyfish have the advantage of looking exactly alike. That means every jellyfish is aroused by every other jellyfish. When they want to mate they just grab the nearest jellyfish that isn't their own reflection and start going to town. Advantage: jellyfish.

Last night I watched the Jacksonville auditions for American Idol for the second time in two nights because the kids hadn't seen it the first time. Jellyfish spent last night making love and getting younger. Advantage: Jellyfish.

Okay, now it's your turn. Tell me what you have been doing recently and compare that to what jellyfish were doing at the same time. See who wins.

Source

New Old

2009-02-03T17:22:00.007+08:00

I was a part-timer in the HQ during the summer break of 2005. One of my tasks is scanning historical archives (and I kept digital copies for my own). As I browse through my files with a pinch of nostalgia, I found articles that are evergreen. I hope you will find them tasteful too. I will regularly post them here. They were written in British context so you can relieve yourself of feeling challenged when you read them.

_____________________________________________________

Practical Man-Making.

IT is no very free paraphrase of the inspired and arresting formula enshrining the object of The Boys’ Brigade that is needed to arrive at the crisp and more colloquial delineation of our aims conveyed by the above title, the practical making of MEN. If both are carefully pondered, giving every term its full weight, it will be found that they must be synonymous. If either be the watchword of any man, be he Boys’ Brigade Officer, schoolmaster, or any other type of worker amongst Boys, though there may be differences as to detail in methods of work even in a thousand ways, the broad, underlying principles will be found to be identical in all cases.

On facing this subject, whether it be for writing about, speaking about it, or actually translating theories into practice, one is struck by the absolute simplicity of the principles and by the striking need, in a pre-eminent degree, of the virtues of persistence and patience in carrying them out. The Object of the Brigade as set forth, indicates both the raw material and the finished product, the Boy and the Man. It also implies, no less unmistakably, the great patience—and because patience, therefore persistence—that is an absolute essential in Officer-equipment, if the great object is to be attained.

Two ideas emerge, then, and they must receive the Officer’s careful attention; the simplicity of the fundamental principles, and the difficulty of their incarnation in the Boy. This very simplicity and obviousness of the principles of man-making may at once be a snare and danger. As a sound thinker has said, “Our best principles sound like platitudes, as all really great principles merely are.” Allowing for the dash of cynicism, there is much truth in the remark. It comes broadly to this if you and I are out to make men, we have no need to go far afield for new theories, methods, materials. We have all close at hand. There is no “royal road.” It is just a slow growing of habits, trained, pruned, and watered with unremitting care and attention, until out of the habits grow the fully-formed character that shall shape a destiny.

As to the difficulty; though the word may not be exactly the right one, it may serve to convey the idea. Perhaps great need would be the better term, for it is not a difficulty to a man who has the right passion for this work, and has made up his mind to carry it through. It is a great need for dogged, ceaseless, watchful, wise work; for remorseless, uncompromising antagonism towards all forms of shoddiness, sham, gerrymandering, slipshodness; for cheery faithful optimism as to ultimate results. A great need for all these in the Officer is connoted in the term difficulty, and in honour of our noble weaver of the wonderful warp and woof of The Object, and to the glory of God, any such difficulty must emphatically be manfully surmounted.

It should be a matter for no little pride to members of the Brigade that in the ordinary routine work of a Company from week to week there is ample opportunity in every branch of our activities for that persistent training that is essential to the making of manhood. For it is not preaching but practising that makes men. It is not the Officer that makes the man, but the Boy, inspired, led, guided, encouraged, by the Officer. All so-called “secular” activities of Brigade work must be animated by this sole aim; otherwise we are badly missing the mark.

In discussing a few cardinal ingredients that go to the making of truly manly character, obedience must take a foremost place. No man is a man until he has learnt how to obey. No man can command until he can obey. No obedience is obedience unless it is ready, prompt, and willing. You are not in office merely to exact a servile obeying of your orders by the Boys in your Company. You are there to implant in them a fine and instinctive obedience as a habit—a too rare habit these days! Look at the carrying-out of commands from this lofty standpoint. A simple order can thus be made a benediction. Insist on prompt and full and unquestioning obedience to every order given. Scrupulously and sternly pull up every evidence of slipshod dilatoriness. Otherwise you are defrauding the Boy. Make perfect obedience the watchword of all ranks. Officers have their orders and they must obey them as implicitly and promptly as Boys: otherwise all their preaching and exhortation will be in vain. Never relax your efforts in the attempt to secure such obedience as a habit, for without it there is little chance of individual self-control, one of the most important fruits of instinctive obedience.

Platitudes, you say? commonplaces! True, they are. But referring to our quotation, with freer interpretation, great principles oft are conveyed in platitudes. And it is just by the wise and noble use of these little things, “the daily round, the common task,” that you and your Boys will accomplish big results in man-making.

Again, and closely allied to obedience, thoroughness must be kept ever to the fore. On all hands there is a cry for young men who are dependable. The nation’s welfare depends upon the reliability of its manhood. Now, reliability is never a mere mushroom growth or a matter of sudden creation. It is a virtue that grows slowly and is the outcome of protracted efforts, it may be laborious efforts. Apart from what might be termed its higher ethical constituents, honour, truthfulness, and the like, there is no more fertile soil for the growth of reliability than that of a habitual thoroughness. “Everything done well, so well that no one could do it better.” “Nothing by halves.” “If a thing’s worth doing at all it’s worth doing well.” These, and a host of other similar mottoes convey the spirit, and one of them should form another watchword in all your work, and in that of all your Boys. They can be made to appeal strongly to Boy-nature, and when they are applied by the right man in the right way, they act as a mighty stimulus in this important direction. This ought to be the underlying principle in cleanliness, attention to detail in uniform and arms, carrying out any order, doing any duty, however slight, on or off parade. Get a Boy to have a passion for always doing his best, and a horror of doing a thing badly—and both can be done—and you have taken a long step on the road to sound manhood in him. The moral as to your own part in all this by way of example—the vital part—needs no more than mere mention!

Further, must be borne in mind, punctuality, springing directly out of obedience and thoroughness; unswerving integrity, with its expressions in honesty, honour, truthfulness, closely related to thoroughness, and often translated through it; courage, often depending upon every other virtue; unselfishness; true sportsmanship; self-control; and so through the whole gamut of manly traits. These are some of the leading characteristics that should mark Boys when they leave the hands of a man-maker. You will never get them merely by preaching or exhortation. You will never get them simply by asking for them. You will get them if you add to your earnest exhortation the continual example of a life lived according to such principles. You will find it comparatively easy then to inspire in a Boy’s heart an enduring and driving ambition to make a man of himself on such lines.

Kipling somewhere finely says:—

“Keep away from dirtiness—keep away from mess,

Don’t get into doin’ things rather-more-or-less!

Let’s ha’ done with abby-nay,¹ kul,² an’ hazer-ho;³

Mind you keep your rifle an’ yourself jus’ so!”

This is the spirit that should animate everyone of us as B.B. Officers. We have the material; we have the opportunities; we all have the ability if we will but use it; we have the fine call; let us see to it that we give every Boy in our command the best possible chance of making of himself a perfect man in Christ Jesus. It is through the trifling, lowly things that we can do it. The highest grows out of the lowliest. Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle. “Ye therefore shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

A. H. A.

1 Not now. 2 Tomorrow. 3 Wait a bit.

( An article from THE BOYS’ BRIGADE GAZETTE,

Vol. XXIII, No. 3,

1st NOVEMBER 1914 )

Launch

2009-02-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

The news came last Friday: We have decided to employ you, congratulations! Report by Monday. Dang.

Alot of people, including the staff, expected my excitement. Yeah, I was excited alright, but not the kind that you know. You see, I have had many part-time jobs, so first day at work ain't much for me. All I did today was get oriented and setup my notebook's access into the office's server.

Oh, you are probably wondering what kind of trouble I got myself into; I am employed by the The Boys' Brigade of Malaysia as the Development Executive (in training and extension). Although official hours are during weekdays, I will be required to throw in my weekends sometimes. My office (a single-storey house turned headquarters) is on Jalan Anak Gasing, kinda near Assunta Hospital in PJ. Bring some noise when you even bother visiting me.

The board of top-shots who decided my employment are people I have known for years, but that does not mean they come easy on me. Some I had worked with, and some I try to ignore. Most of them share positive vibes with me; the youngest among them is 10 years elder than me. For they who thought I was "dead", are they in for a surprise.

Oh well, busy days ahead. But, I am glad I still meet her as often as I can.

Miracle

2009-01-30T20:10:00.004+08:00

How did an intention to spend only 30 bucks for a belt from Chinatown (a.k.a. Petaling Street), turn into a RM800+ worth of office attire (a belt set, shoes and two excellent pairs of pants)?

When dad says, "Let's get you something better".

Thank You Dad. Thank you dad. Thank you... both of you.

Why CNY

2009-01-29T18:45:00.002+08:00

2009-01-29T18:00:00.003+08:00

Love, actually

2009-01-28T00:53:00.008+08:00

So what's the Matrix Trilogy really about? With the bucketloads of meaning, metaphor, and symbolism in every scene, it's pretty difficult to distill these films down to a simple, punchy one-liner. But we won't let that stop us! As corny as it may sound, The Matrix Trilogy is about love, actually.

A scene critical to understanding the past, and especially the future of the Matrix occurs at the beginning of Revolutions. Neo, trapped in the train station between two worlds, encounters a 'family': father, mother, and their child. From the father, Rama-Kandra, Neo learns a valuable lesson. Rama-Kandra and his wife (both programs) have created a daughter, Sati. Sati is a program without purpose and will be deleted from the machine mainframe unless her parents can hide her. They make a deal with The Merovingian to smuggle Sati into the Matrix where The Oracle will care for her.

Why do these programs care what happens to Sati? Why did they create her in the first place? The answer is love. Not love as a human emotion obviously, but love as a word denoting a profound connection between entities. As Rama-Kandra explains it, love is just a word. What matters is the meaning you attach to the word. These programs are experiencing a profound connection to each other, one that they're using the word 'love' to describe, since it's as good a word as any, and it shares a reasonably close meaning with Neo's understanding of the word.

This revelation, that machines can experience something like this, is incredibly important for Neo. They've learned to love, or always had the capacity, but the resistance never knew. What other non-machinelike behaviour are they capable of? Showing mercy? Compassion? We already know that earlier they'd developed the idea of self-preservation - that's really what started the whole war. This knowledge will impact Neo's choices for the rest of the movie. Prior to this, there was little evidence that he would be able to reason with the machines - that he would be able to make them envision a peaceful future. They were simply killing machines with logic circuits that were either on or off, yes or no, good or bad. But Neo learns from Rama-Kandra that there is hope for humanity, because machines now possess the most basic and most cherished of human abilities: the ability to love another.

We believe this revelation paves the way for the peace treaty Neo negotiates with Deus Ex Machina - a peace treaty that no one else would have thought possible...but Neo now does. The future of the Matrix is wide open, full of possibility, but what of the past?

Love permeates the past of the Matrix. So many of the critical events in these movies are based on the love of someone for someone else, on the profound connection between people. In The Matrix, the Oracle herself says "Being the One is like being in love." We never knew how true that statement was, and how many layers it had at the time. Would Cypher have switched sides if Trinity had shown him some warmth and compassion? We'll never know. If Neo didn't already feel a profound connection to Morpheus, would he have risked his life to free him? And of course, would Neo have come back at the end of the movie without Trinity's expression of love?

In Reloaded, Trinity and Neo's love is brought into focus. Their scene under the arch during the celebration in Zion is critical to the outcome, because it is this love that fuels Neo. He can't do this on his own - he needs Trinity to keep him moving forward on the path of the One. It's this love that's causing Neo's nightmares, leading him to ask her to stay out of the Matrix. It's this love that both causes her to agree to his request and to ignore it when she believes he is in jeopardy and only she can help. And most importantly, it's because of this love that Neo chooses the door to save Trinity instead of doing what the Architect expects, putting into motion the events that would bring about peace in Revolutions. And it's this love that Neo draws on when he brings Trinity back to life near the end of Reloaded. Each critical branch in the path would end very differently (and a lot less happily) if love wasn't a driving force behind the choices being made.

Love plays a role in other decisions. If Niobe didn't still love Morpheus, would she choose to help him against Commander Lock's wishes? Her help is critical to the success of the mission. If Link didn't love his brothers-in-law, Tank and Dozer, would he volunteer and stay on Morpheus' ship through all the danger?

In Revolutions, Zee's love of Link led her to volunteer for the resistance army. Her impact in taking down one of the diggers is immense. Niobe's love of Morpheus is critical to her decision to offer her ship to Neo and to pilot the Hammer back to Zion. Would she trust Morpheus and his undying belief in Neo if not?

It's Trinity's love that rescues Neo from the train station. When the Merovingian asks "You are really ready to die for this man?", it's Persephone that answers "She'll do it! She'll kill every one of us if she has to... she's in love." And she will. It's Trinity that gets Neo through the trials on the way to the machine city. It's Neo's love of Trinity, and now humanity that leads him both to taking on Smith, and to brokering the peace between man and machine.

Neo's final fight with Smith is a direct comment on the importance of love to this trilogy. Smith rails at Neo "Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? [...] Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. [...] And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love." Rama-Kandra would have something to say to Smith about this. Two programs, each with very different opinions on love. Has one evolved further than the other? This is ultimately why Smith loses. He's left behind in a world that is changing, with machines/programs like Rama-Kandra paving the way to a future where maybe machines and humans can find more common ground instead of focusing on their differences.

This is a world that has love to thank for its existence. This is a world Neo gives to them, a world brought about by his ultimate sacrifice. This is a world where eradication of the enemy is seen for what it is: a symptom of the problem, not a solution. This is a world where the creator and its creation have the potential to live fruitfully in peace and cooperation. Neo has given his children, both mechanical and biological, a world where a machine can learn to love.

Source

temet nosce

2009-01-27T20:20:00.001+08:00

I cannot help using Latin once in awhile - omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina - everything said [is] stronger if said in Latin.

It is no news that I am hooked on The Matrix Trilogy. I vivid recall its premier in 1999; the weaponry and tech are of little interest, but the philosophy... my... it is every thinking man's candy. If I have the moolah I'd be ordering the complete collection of books related to The Matrix. Anyhow, they ain't easy to find here.

Know thyself, so says the title. Two little words, yet so profound when placed together, are inscribed and placed above the Oracle's kitchen door.

That's really what The Oracle is all about. She opens the door but Neo has to choose to believe it for himself. He has to look inside, he has to know there is no spoon, and he has to know he is The One. And it is only through making the choice, once he finds the reason to do so, that he becomes The One. The next time Neo meets the Oracle in The Matrix: Reloaded, she made it clear to him that he has already made the choices that is due - the rendezvous is for him to understand why he made those choices. Turns out he ain't no smart cookie. Now wait a doggone minute, does that not insinuate that free will is a hoax?

Have you ever pondered, if the environment that surrounds us, is an orchestra of artificial events that molds our belief in free will, which probably does not exist?

What drives the choices you make?

Clairvoyance

2009-01-27T19:34:00.005+08:00

Could this be... my saving grace?

Argus II artificial eye

The Argus II is a minuscule artificial eye that attaches to the retina via 60 electrodes. Stephen Rose, chief research officer at the Foundation Fighting Blindness, says it has “great potential for giving vision to people with the most advanced retinal disease.” With the second phase of human trials underway, expect production models this year.

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-26T12:00:00.006+08:00

In Sepang.

Grandpa, Dad, sis, me and mum. Bro's absent.

Grandpa's turning 80 next year, can't wait to celebrate. Check out the stack of angpaus he was holding. *drools* My parents are 50+, can you tell?

Shield

2009-01-24T18:25:00.011+08:00

You readers already know me long enough to conclude my favourite solution: confrontation. I do not waste time doing so, nor do I wish that you do the same. I am (mentally) capable of being a soul-less dictator; the image of the aggravator's head rolling on the floor at my feet springs in my mind at the slightest pressure on my Red Button. I guess that is why God put me in an era where dictators ain't popular anymore (or is it so?) and born to a mediocre family rather than one with political might.

Last weekend Felicia's ex-(you do not need to know which one) tried to contact her, obviously up to no good. Well, he was (perhaps still is) the reason I got concerned about her way before the idea of "us" even precipitate. Yes, you can guess what went through my mind - if I had it my way, I would be feeding his flesh to dogs already. Relax. My skull carries a sound mind. All of us have fantasies we relish on. Mine just happen to be morbid.

So after obtaining useful wisdom from a likely source, a peaceful confrontation seems brighter. I do not know what may happen if I were to meet him in person, perhaps a few (guy) friends ought to tag along to hold me down. Searching my options, using SMS ought to suffice until otherwise. I prayed before and after sending my messages, so that He guide my words rather than my own. Oh, you really do not want to know what my original message was. All I can say is... it was highly hostile, qualified as a generational curse and self-condemnation. From me, to him. At times like this, the Spirit comes in handy - to keep me out of trouble? To cut the story short, I shall allow you to read the exchange of information via SMS with this ******* S.O.B. And it goes without saying, some words and phrases are omitted. Why? You do not need to know.

~Begin~

Mine:

I hope this will be the 1st and last time i see this contact and also the last time i send a message to u. This is felicia's future husband and she will be Mrs.Sim at a time not granted for your knowledge. Her refusal to remain contact with u is obvious, and my presence now as her life partner makes the message much much clearer than ever: u are not welcomed at all. I hope u will be the gentleman i wish that u are, and leave our lives in peace, so that u too will have peace and stay __________. She has regarded the sorry history u had with her as the greatest mistake in her life, and a lesson never to be forgotten and repeated. The gifts u had given that bear witness to the regrettable past relationship are already disposed of. U do not bear any capacity to love her the way i do, and she knows that all too well. While i exist, i remain as her man. We pray this well-intended and peaceful way of settlement will be effective. We really do not wish to take up greater measures (such as legal action) to make sure u know your boundaries as a civilised person, unless u wish to prove otherwise and hence would require the heavy hand of the law. Everyone has the right to enjoy life unharassed. I am sure u will want to protect your own loved ones too. Therefore, u can understand that i will also do all it takes to make sure u keep your distance. Thank u, and may u and family have a blessed chinese new year. God bless.

His:

Thanks for your message.. But don't think that i'm against any laws now, as i'm __________ for a few months. I'm keeping a distance to felicia because i do respect her decision. I only hope, you will take care of her better than me, love her more than i can give. And i wish you two a happy ending.

(Is he for real? I wage that he failed to fully comprehend the weight of my wrath behind my verbal mask, and definitely not the character I suspected, from what I gathered. Anyhow I thank God his reply was so, and deserved a likewise response. But, his retreat does not lower our guard; we remain vigilant, and I am strike-ready.)

Mine:

I am relieved and filled with gratitude at your response. Surely your dignity shines through your words, and now more a man than before. I sympathise for __________. I hope u too will find happiness soon. Rest assured, she will forevermore be in great care; she is worth my life. God bless, and thank u so much.

~End~

I often learn from my own actions. My only intention of placing these messages here is to provide an insight for others to do the same. I do not know how you translate those messages, but I am sure you understand it differently than I do. Only God knows what is useful to you - do not bother filling me in, I ain't interested. This issue is of great sensitivity to us and I appreciate that none of you ever approach Felicia or me about it. I even seek her consent before publishing this post; this is the level of our commitment. No comments are allowed this time. If you are so free to pry into her past (which makes it my concern now), go get a job, suck a lemon or fly a kite.

Love... always protects (1 Cor 13:7)

God is good.

I'm not lost... just undiscovered

2009-01-22T11:59:00.008+08:00

Why Democracy is Struggling in Asia

Hah! My eyes widened when I read that headline on a recent TIME magazine; I was in Monash's library yesterday morning. The problem: culture. In absolute transparency, I cannot help feeling gleeful and enjoyed a long smirk. No, I ain't hoping to rise in power - I am all for democracy. My schadenfreude moment stems from the thought that a Western ideology cannot work in Asia - or rather, much closer to my perspective - Asians can never fully wield the Western ways. It seems that Asians only appreciate the good of democracy to exist within the confines of the mind, but exercise an adulterated version of it. Why? Easy! - to safe face, of course.

This brings me delight, not because I am enthusiastic on Asian values, but quite the contrary. Born to a race and value system I hardly relate to, I often label my observations (on my family and friends) merely as interesting as Discovery Channel and nothing to call as my own.

As an individualist, I duly respect all who defends the other side. I do not find it worth an ounce of my life to rebel against this culture-trifle. My message is only this: when things get serious, my approach is often Western; I'd rather have you face me than for you to turn your back and leave your tail on my path, and later cry foul when I bulldoze over it. My only offer after that is a fat lip. Kapish? I spare no room for petty mind-craps and trivial comments on my means to an end.

In Boston Legal, lawyers of the same firm face-off each other in court, but remain friends after the case concludes. I love what Brendan Fraser said in The Silent American: why can't we disagree and still be friends? As for marriage, watch The Smiths - still being able to make out after opening fire at each other, that must be some love. You get the idea. These are Western sources of the fictitious sort, but nothing short of the cultural elements. The reason I watch seasons of House repetitively is not to marvel at his medical prowess; I find that his attitude resonates with mine. So if I am silent about certain issues, that probably means... wait, it ain't worth telling you anyway. *smirk*

So why I am still here? This is a challenge - it can be fun. I have not had enough schadenfreude moments.

Long ago, I concluded that we do not need to earn friends - they simply exist, or they do not. Whatever my later posts convey, do remember caveat lector: let the reader beware.

"Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Frame

2009-01-20T13:23:00.006+08:00

Exactly a week ago my mum and I went to an optical shop in Summit Square. Yeaps, I will be getting a new pair of prescription glasses soon. You will understand why mum had to be present, and it is not due to the fact that the owner, Andy, is her friend. He is a certified optometrist who used to work for a laser treatment company, or so he claims (he could simply blurt out a name and expect me to buy it). His methodology is unconventional, and yet effective. I believe he has psychological inputs as well, making sure I feel comfortable with the prescription with an added play of words.

When the degree of my shortsightedness was realised, it did not surprise me as much as it did to Andy and mum, of course. Left eye: 1400; right eye: 1200. I have a staggering level of astigmatism too. So there is no choice but to get super-thin glass lenses, the thinnest there are in the market. The cost: RM1200. So I hope you will be no less cautious than I am with myself when I have them on.

Now let's talk bout the frame. It makes sense to purchase from Andy's - *buzzer* - wrong! In fact, the intent of this post is to warn you all not to go there to get your eye wear (unless you are not as fussy as I am, be my guest).

Here is why. The first order when I stepped into his shop was to identify the frame I have been hunting for. I even gave him a call to ask if he carries Oakley frames. But something is amiss: there is not a single Oakley shelf in sight - the very indication of an official Oakley dealer.Never mind. I shall inspect the range he has first. He asked his son to fish out the stash, and... my gosh, the Oakley frames are kept in plastic wraps and crude boxes. But hey, he has the frame I want, and with a very rare colour too - Gun Metal (12-347). I memorised the code printed on it instantly. The price he offered for the frame also blew me away.

So after getting my prescription done and putting down a RM200 deposit, I called up my friend who is an official Oakley dealer and asked her if there is such a colour code. Yes, but it is Matte Black & Red. Okay... I did not feel very well after hearing that. Just to be sure, I also called up Oakley's headquarters. Same feedback. Shit.

I wasted no time calling up Andy. He went out so I spoke to his wife. My questions were simple and straightforward. I was hoping she would give me the correct answer.

Me: "Hi, Rick here. I came earlier with my mum... Oakley frame customer?"

She: "Er... oh yes yes, what can I do for you?"

Me: "Oh, I just wish to know what items come with the Oakley frame I want?"

She: "Huh? Er... I don't understand. What you mean ah?"

Me: "Ahem. Like does it come with a box and cloth?" (I am hoping she would know the exact name for those items)

She: "Er... wait ah, I go and check. (After a few minutes) We give normal case lo."

Me: "Normal case? What does it look like? And the cloth, comes from where?"

She: "Black coloured case lo, the cloth is from our shop wan."

(Is she daft?)

Me: "I am sorry, don't you mean that it comes with a standard Oakley metal case and a Microclear bag for polishing and storage?"

She: "Huh? No wor, is it?"

Me: "That means, it is not genuine la?"

She: "Err... (quiet for a long moment) I think you talk to Andy better la."

Me: "Okay, thank you" (Hangs up).

My disgust could not have been greater. I managed to call up Andy later. He gave me a load of crap saying the reason he was able to offer me such a low price for the frame is because he had spoken to my mum about it and had made arrangements for me, to minus those accessories and replaced by his shop's. **** off la. My mum confirms no such event; she is no where near my C-ness. Interrogating him for the reason of not providing original Oakley items, he mentioned that his Oakley frames are "under-table" products. I smell another crap. Why can you not just admit selling me a counterfeit? *#@#*^#&*^&*!@~$!!@%#^$%&$^*#*@!*%*@#!#~!$^^%$&@$!@#%#~!%$^%%&*^*%^&@

Sensing my discontent, he quickly allowed me the option of scratching the frame off the agreement and I shall just have my lenses. He even advised me to get my desired frame elseplace. You bet I will, arse-wipe. But I have to leave my original frame with him so that he can fit my lenses into it. I am extremely reluctant to do that. But the raw lenses will arrive after Chinese New Year and only he knows the specifications to the contours of my lenses. Drat, deposit has been paid too. Mum ain't happy with the hassle; she wish I would just accept the earlier agreement and live with it. No way, not for the money put into this, mum. So I am paying for the extra costs as I am buying my frame from my friend who operates in Bangsar.

Oakley Dictate 2.0 - Black Chrome (12-346)

There are some valuable lessons to be learnt here. Still, I am grateful to mum for even paying a huge portion of it, and to my friend who offered me the frame at a generous discount. The market price for it is close to RM1k. Remember: Do NOT get your eye wear from Andy's in Summit Square.

First

2009-01-15T10:13:00.001+08:00

(WARNING: not for the mushy-phobes and easily nauseated)

Today marks the first month since Felicia and I launched into this relationship. Some told me they see it being more than just a relationship - I could not agree more. For so short a duration, the emotions are indescribable. Well, duh~. There is no need to publicise what we have done for each other. All I can say, for myself, is I like myself much more when I am with her, because I stop thinking everything about my own.

First impressions should not be taken lightly, especially when you are a single. Simple, costless, genuine acts of gallantry are all it takes to make a lasting impression, and I grew up believing all men should carry them out well. Not that I claim to be highly-proficient, but one should never stop trying.

Felicia's first impression of me was of a gentleman; she often say so. I share your scoffing, but not to the point of putting my authenticity on trial here. When parking lots are scarce and a few cars are driven for an outing, I usually allow the car behind mine take an available one lot on sight. That is just what I did, one Wednesday evening early last year, Garry and other common and new friends decided to pop down to Taman Connaught's night market.

The plan was so last-minute I could have declined. Had I not joined the wagon, today would have been just a dream, an event with a probability so low that would have been far from reality. I regret nothing I have done or said to her from that day on. I must have done something right.

I love you.

"If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you."

- Source Unknown

Billed

2009-01-06T16:51:00.003+08:00

As of today, I am a Digi post-paid user. After my usual research spree, I found that it offers me the best plan - very cost effective. Other service providers either cost more or include ridiculous access fees. Word. Best part of the switch is I get to retain my current number. That way, I do not have to inform my fans and they need not edit my contact. *glee*

Digi - Always the smarter choice.

Desk

2009-01-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

Pedal-phile

2009-01-02T01:31:00.077+08:00

I cannot rest. My brain is on overdrive. Dammit. At times like these my laptop is the most reliable companion. So I browsed through images (that I did not carelessly delete) and ah... images of my bike and all of its parts. I was moved by the extreme C-ness I had, which I believe to be the apex at the time I decide to invest heavily on a mountain bike. *With flowing tears and clenched fists* I shall not be selfish and hold my passion to myself. Thus, I shall enlighten all ye ignorants! *sun beams from behind*

Bicycles fascinate me. A lot. The bike (as in bicycle, disambiguation from motorbike) is probably the only mechanical device that translates brute human strength into speed. No beast, no fuel, no pollution. Just man, machine and moment. Of course, the technology of bikes has come a long way, and those who possess superior components gains greater advantages - in strength and speed.

Like all big boys' toys, a bike can cost as much as a car. So if you have a budget to work with, you will have to balance the trade-offs between speed and strength without compromising the bang for your buck.

The first thing every aspiring cyclist need to do is to identify the type of cycling he/she is interested in - considering the aspects of terrain, endurance level and distance. Due to the rapid evolution in race-patterns and stunts, it is difficult to classify every bike-related activity. However, there are 3 general categories: mountain (for adventure extremists), road (for speed demons) and lifestyle (for retirees and sissies-alike). Still in general, there are 4 types of mountain biking, 5 types of road cycling and 4 types in lifestyle. I ain't gonna go further in details here, you check out Shimano.com and get starry-eyed on your own. Here's what it says about my choice of bike:

Often called Cross Country bikes, XC Racing bikes are designed to tackle a mountain from the bottom. Lightweight and efficient, XC bikes often sacrifice comfort and control as luxuries you can’t afford when racing to the top.

XC bike frames are either hardtail or short travel, semi-active suspension designs. Long and low, XC bikes put the rider in a stretched out position. Best suited to gradual terrain, XC racing bikes are popular in areas without a lot of rocks and roots and among competitive riders.

If your idea of mountain biking is fitness and endurance you may want to consider a XC Racing bike. If you consider the best rider the one who made it to the top first, then your choice is made.

Note: Gradual terrains and Malaysian roads are synonymous. That is why you see as many mountain bikes as there are road bikes on the roads.

Such an investment called for extensive research. I had to decide which XC level components to get and once I did, I downloaded the manuals for each component.

I needed thorough knowledge on how each component work with another; this took me 2 months, including isolating the shops that offered me lowest prices in town. In the end, instead of getting each Shimano component separately, I found it most cost-effective to purchase them as a groupset, and a bicycle shop in SS14 offered me a very agreeable figure. Mine is the Deore LX, allegedly (still) ranks 3rd in XC racing level. Just in case you are wondering: XTR ranks top, followed by XT. Nevertheless, it was not the end of decision making just yet.

Although V-brakes are traditional, but given the advancement of material engineering, they work best when negotiating muddy terrains. Disc-brake calipers can be jammed by mud or dirt and hence increase the danger any mountain biker is willing to risk. However, the costlier disc-brakes have better response when decelerating high speeds. Since I would be on the road more often, disc-brakes are more sensible; dodging and avoiding surprising vehicles and sudden halts require immediate brake reaction.

Shimano SM-RT62 disc rotor + Shimano BR-M585 brake caliper

Now to the brake system: mechanic or hydraulic? Safer (but sniff... hefty) option: hydraulic. It is lighter too. Mechanic brake system is the traditional one (tension via cables) while the hydraulic system necessitates mineral oil as brake fluid.

Shimano SM-DB-OIL mineral oil

Shimano SM-BH59 brake hose

There are more types of shifters than you possibly know. The most common ones are friction shifters - most primitive of shifters and are the ones you would find on low-end bikes. Inferior. Index shifters (with numbers) are the average ones on most mountain bikes: above-the-bar, below-the-bar or fondly known as rapidfire, and twisting (just like a motorbike's). Most pros love the rapidfire, due to its precision and reliability. Hmm. Wait, wait. There was a new tech in town: brake/shift levers (or brifters) - dual control levers (DCL). Basically the brake and shift levers function as a single unit, also has an index and has a rapidfire thumb-release. Now we're talking. Oh yeah.

Shimano ST-M585 DCL left lever (front view)

Shimano ST-M585 DCL right lever (back view)

Once all these were identified, I had to begin scouting around for the frame. Getting ain't as easy as just paying; you have to measure for the suitable geometry. The ones in KHS (Taman Tun Dr. Ismail) are too darn costly - a few folds beyond budget. I could only drool at the four-figured 8k Titanium frames. While driving along Old Klang Road, I found this small bicycle shop that sells assembled bikes. It had only one frame wrapped in plastic and hanging from the rack. It was love at first sight - an Italian hardtail alloy frame, Bianchi MUTT 7400. The price offered could never be more convincing but I had a competitor, unless I pay within a few days - I took the frame home the next day. Here's the beauty:

Bianchi MUTT 7400 alloy frame

Thank God I checked each component's code before I hand over the cash; the seller packed an inferior Hyperglide chain, which would have compromised the overall performance. He did not believe me until I showed him a list I printed out from the Shimano webpage. *ultra-smug* This is a shining example of consumerism, people: if you are fool, you will be conned. Of course I got the original one on the spot.

Shimano CN-HG73 Hyperglide chain (see the code engraving?)

However, he could not provide me with the actual wheel hubs, so I had to settle for lesser ones. Aw. Well, small trade off for the price, I guess. They are only a few grams heavier than the supposed ones anyway.

Shimano FH-M495 rear free hub

Shimano HB-M495 front hub

(they look similar at first glance, but the difference is rather obvious)

Now to the rest of the groupset components:

Shimano CS-M580 cassette sprocket (9-speed silver gear)

Shimano FD-M580 front derailleur (top swing)

Shimano RD-M580-GS Double Servo rear derailleur (9-speed, long cage)

Shimano FC-M580 Hyperdrive crankset (front chainwheel + cranks + sprocket)

Alright, I got the frame and groupset. What else were missing? Ah, let's start from the top: handlebar, handlegrips, headlight, headset, stem cap, stem, suspension fork, rims, spokes, tubes, tyres, saddle, seat post, seat collar, mud guard, safety rear light, chainstay, pedals, gloves, shoes, lock and shades. I got them all from KHS since I assembled my bike there. When my frame was there, a customer offered to buy my frame. Nah. I was flattered anyway; you mean my frame actually trumps the other frames in the shop? Imagine my smugness. My frame was way much cheaper than the ones they have too.

My Giro Atmos helmet had arrived earlier, the same model Lance Armstrong used in his final Tour de France. Buying from eBay saves alot, the setback is waiting months for it to arrive.

Giro Atmos helmet (RedGrey)

+ Oakley XX sunglasses (Midnight Blue O Matter frame, 24K Iridium Plotonite lenses)

This pair of shades work well under bright sunlight as well as afternoon light, so I can keep it on for long hours of cycling. Even when cycling at dusk, high-speed cyclists should wear a pair of shades with clear lenses to shield the eyes from wind and air-borne debris. KHS sold it to me at a price I could not reject. Alritey, to the rest of the components from KHS!

CaneCreek Aheadset SP (fitted with race-level bearings)

Shimano SPD M545 Off-road racing pedals

Shimano DF-M730 Sharkfin chain guard (to protect the chain from scraping the chain stay)

Tioga spacers (for adjusting the stem's distance from the head tube)

Easton Monkeylite DH Carbon Handlebar (the lightest component accounted for)

ODI Rouge Handlegrips

LH Thomson Elite adjustable seatpost (Over 40% stronger on ultimate strength test than the strongest production seatposts on the market. Natural ellipse bore inside tube for optimum strength to weight ratio. Adjustments can be made to the tilt of the seat without moving the seat forwards or backwards. LH Thomson Co. specialises only in these bike components)

LH Thomson Elite stem (machined from 7000 series aluminum, a one-piece design with no welds or joints. LH Thomson Co. specialises only in these bike components)

Although quick-release seat collars are extremely popular with pros and amateurs alike, they are often the cause of stolen seatposts and saddles. Since I would sometimes need to park at a public area, a bolted seat collar (a.k.a pinch bolt) will be more secure. I have a very lousy graphic of my saddle but its webpage is very informative. The only thing worth mentioning here is its Titanium railings.

Avocet X-Country saddle

generic bolted seat collar

Mavic XC717 Disc Rims + DT Swiss spokes + Shimano hubs (see above)

Mavic XC717 Disc Rim (Cross section view, lightest rim of its class)

Continental tyre tubes

Panaracer Cinder 2.1 Tyres

Cateye TL-LD1000 (10 LEDs) safety rear light (fitted with 2 buttons, 5 modes for each row, rain-resistant)

Cateye HL-EL210 (5 LEDs) head light (super-bright, 2 modes, rain-resistant)

Rockshox Recon 351 Solo-air suspension fork and the PopLoc remote that is linked to the fork (At a switch, the air-suspension fork becomes rigid, often only used when travelling uphill. The most expensive component accounted for, its webpage is so cool you've got to check it out!)

Zefal Croozer III mud guard (front)

Topeak Mini & Gauge dual action handpump

Camelbak M.U.L.E. hydration pack (carries a 3-Litre water bladder)

Camelbak Rubicon 25 hydration pack (carries a 2-Litre water bladder)

Camelbak raincover (for obvious reasons)

NIKE Men's Strenght training gloves

NIKE Triax C8 with heart rate monitor

Shimano SH-M225 MTB racing shoes + Shimano SH56 multi-release cleats

Shimano SH-SD60B cycling sandals + Shimano SH56 multi-release cleats

As for D.I.Y. maintenance....

Parktool Chain Gang Cleaning System

Finish Line Dry Teflon Lube

And the sum of everything above, equals one cool, mean toy.

It's a wrap

2008-12-31T12:40:00.001+08:00

Ah. Lazy to type again. Read it here.

Happy New Year everyone.

So true

2008-12-28T00:04:00.000+08:00

I'm Yours

Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest

And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing

We're just one big family

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate, our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do

But do you want to come on

Scooch on over closer dear

And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me

(I won't hesitate)

Open up your plans and damn you're free

(No more, no more)

Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours

(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need

(There's no need to complicate)

There's no need to complicate

(Our time is short)

'Cause our time is short

(This is our fate)

This is, this is, this is our fate

I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours

Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours

You best believe, best believe I'm yours

Bippity boppity boo

2008-12-27T17:59:00.011+08:00

Remember this post? Well it was high time I deal with mine - my room. I cannot imagine anyone being excited over cleaning up rooms, but I am today. Word. I know for the fact that I will be superfluously smug once everything is spotless and tidy, yet I dread the possible illness I might be in as I am extremely sensitive to dust and tang. Perhaps now you know why I prefer washing dishes and toilets. Water, mmm.

My first order is always to remove everything - yeap, everything - from my room. Well, the cupboard is abit of a goliath so it stays put inside the room, just shifting it around if necessary. So every item was wiped, dried and rearranged after the floor has been vacuumed and mopped, while the bed had the luxury of sunbathing. There were stuff kept in boxes for years. I told mum I needed a piece of furniture to stack them up, and voila! she magically pointed one out in the dining hall, and I had not noticed it all the while. You gotta love a mum like that. While I was giving my room the dust-buster, she waltzed in with a mop and restored my floor's gleam. At the speed mum moves with that mop, I could only stand and marvel.

"Ah. You don't know how to give your toilet a proper scrub. I'll do it some day soon. Just let me have your extra key."

"Err... okay." *Raises eyebrow*

You see, we are to attend an old friend's wedding - my old friend to be exact, but also the son of my mum's old friend - in 2 hours. Ah... the warm friendships that linger in lil' Taman Desa. So the room is pretty much done... kinda. I still have to clean my cupboard, not that it got dirty inside, just need to discard the items I do not what hanging around anymore, and perhaps straighten out other things stacking around as well. But! let's not tarry further, here is how it looks like now:

Welcome to the first episode of FCC-Crib.

(Jazz-funk fusion playing in the background)

My "threatening" door sign.

Ta-daa~

everything is pretty much wooden or brown in colour.

I still need time to really sort things out,

so this is pretty much how it will look like for awhile now.

The room is long, which explains why it feels small when one is in it.

The cupboard and table has switched places.

Gotta learn how to make my own mosquito netting soon.

The wooden clock has been with me since iKea opened its doors.

No, I do not have shoes kept above my cupboard

- those boxes house CDs and cassettes.

Ah, the black laundry bag is for clean, washed clothes only. *Beam*

Sometimes I procrastinate in putting fresh laundry directly into the cupboard.

OK, my sphere of interests are displayed here.

No prize for guessing I love Tolkien literature and military novels.

Japanese pop culture icons are cool

- gotta get a real katana someday. Hee.

That gundam has been with me for so long I cannot recall the duration.

An original brass bugle from England. Don't ask how I got it.

Thanks to mum for the metal and glass stack.

My beloved bike.

Don't let the bike stand throw you off,

I ain't sissy enough to have it install permanently - its a detachable stand.

Again, those Nike boxes house nothing else but maintenance items for my bike.

Only the Shimano boxes have shoes and sandals inside them,

which if without, pedalling on my bike can be dangerous.

The Easton box contains receipts and all documents that concerns my bike.

Yes, each part has its own manual. How's that for hardcore?

That's my bed, it is a day-bed actually,

have not really gotten around why it is so called.

But it's real comfy, for me, since I can sleep soundly on a flat mattress. *Smug*

Love the rich brown tone. I do not sleep on it very much though,

unless it gets too warm and calls for air-conditioning.

Otherwise, I prefer the sofa in the living hall.

Japanese night light just above my bed - it gives a very warm ambience.

Thanks to my dear for the nice poster. So fitting.

Mirror with wood frame.

(I did mention most of my stuff are wooden, no?)

That is my favourite poster of Totoro - it is a childhood thing.

It has been stuck there since I have this room.

I made the wrapped-frame on my own too

- with cork sheet + thick plastic sheet + parcel strings.

Ah, the door to my bathroom, which is currently out of order.

Requires a plumber.

The mess-iest visible part of the room for now, my desk.

In case you are wondering, those Hennessy boxes... are loaded and unopened.

When and where is the next party? *Glee*

And that exposed bottle of Hennesy champagne is for my convocation.

Gotta get a more comfortable chair from iKea. Hmm.

Okay. It is time to leave now.

Ah, here are the things hanging behind my heavy door.

Camelbak® mountain bike hydration systems

- such a cool name for a bag that carries water for you.

Ah yes, those two black nettings are elbow and knee armour

for mountain biking, but will facilitate pretty much any kind of cycling.

I wish to sell them, any takers?

Before I forget, I have something for my dear, awaiting her return.

Gosh, how I miss her.

The absence of you...

2008-12-23T18:51:00.004+08:00

The Way You Look Tonight

Frank Sinatra

Some day, when I'm awfully low,

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you...

And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft,

There is nothing for me but to love you,

And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,

Tearing my fear apart...

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,

It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.

Keep that breathless charm.

Won't you please arrange it ?

'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,

Just the way you look to-night.

Lovely

2008-12-22T12:45:00.002+08:00

It came presented in the way I love - classic.

It is not loud nor big - just simple, practical and handy.

So Rick.

Thank you so much for this Christmas gift dear.

Unflinching

2008-12-18T01:19:00.006+08:00

I am still in Monash campus as I type this. I began the day from the corridor on 3rd floor. Towards midnight, the lights are out. So I moved, with my table to the annex bridge. After a 10-minute settlement darkness entailed. Coincidence? We will see.

So I took my trustee digital buddy to the cafeteria, but the looks of the place makes me stand on my toes the moment I sat down. Time to migrate again. This time I went to the Science building's ground floor. There is a powerpoint next to the lifts - so is the Gents and water dispenser! Sweet, though there ain't a table and a chair. That is fine, the floor is good. And it is cooling too.

After Felicia's visitation and leaving back to the lab, lights out again. That is a deliberate attempt to shoo me away. Nice try, guards. It will take more than that to displace me completely from the campus grounds. This is actually fun. Glee. Let's see how much you clobber-heads can put up with me.

Too much mischief for a graduate? Bite me.

Not too far away by the lobby, there are powerpoints on the pillars. But the campus as a whole is slowly losing its radiance. What, the campus cannot afford to keep some illumination? Worse case is, I go sit at the guard-house, heh. Oh, I spy... a patroling guard. Good. I feel safe.

Rekindled

2008-12-17T09:09:00.002+08:00

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:49 AM):

where are u working?

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:50 AM):

one utama

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:50 AM):

wow

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:50 AM):

some iT store la

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:50 AM):

i know

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:50 AM):

good

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:50 AM):

at least u are working

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:50 AM):

pls do a good job

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:50 AM):

selling/servicing laptop and any other gadgets like pda phones

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:51 AM):

crap it's to f-ing far have to pass 2 tolls

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:51 AM):

the boss is one emotional freak

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

its like that

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

no choice

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

bear with it

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

people in that area is like that

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:51 AM):

u see him with sad face better hide somewhere

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:51 AM):

and at night jam

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

well, be wise, don open your mouth too often

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:51 AM):

10.30 leave from store 11.45 reach home

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:51 AM):

unless really necessary

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:52 AM):

tau la

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:52 AM):

its a shopping complex la...

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:52 AM):

sure la jam when leaving

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:52 AM):

make yourself presentable

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:52 AM):

people in 1U are sensitive to looks

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:52 AM):

go get a good haircut

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

gel or wax up

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

make sure u smell good

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:53 AM):

my wax doesnt really work -_-

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:53 AM):

i need a hairspray

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

thats why...

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

CUT

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

keep it short and tidy

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:53 AM):

always works

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:55 AM):

nvm la. someone else's hair is way worse

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:55 AM):

don make yourself equal to others in your workplace

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:55 AM):

just always improve, learn new things

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:56 AM):

i just learned to format/install windows, recovery, activating windows etc

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:56 AM):

just because there are someone worse than u doesn't make it easier for you to keep your job, don't be complacent

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:57 AM):

okay

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:57 AM):

i gtg.

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:57 AM):

work well

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:57 AM):

i'll need 3 redbulls for that

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:57 AM):

make sure everything is off-ed before you leave

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:57 AM):

eat well

ŕ!©ҝ™ is 力齊 says (8:58 AM):

and serve your clients well

iNOX`Hibiki - (: says (8:58 AM):

k ciaoz

Once again, and perhaps forevermore onwards, I feel like a big brother. Oh... the guilt of years of neglect I had generously cast on him. Forgive me, young one, for having failed you.

...

This is overwhelming.

...

Thank You Jesus.

The Gift

2008-12-15T11:18:00.007+08:00

There is this kingdom, where all the King's servants are each endowed with a gift they so bequest, and they are to dedicate their lives just tending to them. But to some servants, stewards of the gifts are all they can be, for the gifts are to pass through a few crafts before finally resting in the hands of the very servants whom the King so intended and has prepared for. Those who retain their gifts for a lifetime are the keepers.

And the King is all-knowing, wise beyond measure and of great powers. Nevertheless, the King, above all, is a loving king as he loves his subjects and all that thrives in his kingdom. Nothing in it lacks, or has ever been remote from his touch.

Almost every servant already has an endowment; some for years, some just received theirs and some... had lost dedication - or so it seems to them, for they may be stewards and are innocent of it. But the King is ever gracious; to those who left their gifts, the King is ever mindful and prepares other gifts for them still, for everything falls into the King's designs. Save a few, the King's choice servants are certain of their gifts.

Then comes a lowly gardener into the King's courts, which he had left in abhorrence for other disdainful servants, but loves the King fervently. Before the throne, the gardener pledged his service anew, quivering in fear that the King might cast him into the dungeons forevermore with those who had fallen from the King's grace.

"O great king, it is abominable that your servant should leave, and now again present in your halls. Your servant returns before him, for the king's love so gripping and far-reaching, even as your servant hides in the shadows and sought company with those who practise heathen ways. Even so, o great king, your servant knows that the king loves them still, and awaits their contrition. Your servant humbly asks for forgiveness, and a place again in the king's courts. Should the king offers his servant otherwise, your servant loves the king still, and shall bear the king's judgement in full."

"Truly as you speak, I love my subjects, even for those whom I have cast, I did so with the weight of the universe in my heart. It is painful for me when you left, but I kept you still in my heart. And now that you are here, again present in my hall, I am glad and uplifted. But know this, even for the standard of your crafts, I have a gift that will be trying for you, a gift which I shall not reveal to you. Let the turn of events lead you to it. You will make your choice and mark your dedication. Trust that this gift is fitting for you, and upon receiving it I will root out the flaws in you. I know all that you have done in the shadows, for I am your king and nothing escapes my sight. You may cover your face in shame and feel unworthy of your gift, though your heart will want it so, but none in my kingdom are born in the light, save for my knights. Therefore, have peace. Rise now, my dear servant, I forgive you."

Thus the gardener is back tending to the vast array of flowers, preparing all for the King's Banquet Reprise, which the time is never known to anyone in the kingdom save the King himself.

Then it came to pass, that the gardener took up a few Tasks appointed to him by the King. Now Tasks can come in many shapes, sizes, weight, and have minds of their own. Once held, a Task will stay with the bearer until the time is ripe for the bearer to let go and that the Task consents. This too, the bearer knows nothing of. Nevertheless, many have not held their Tasks well.

However, the gardener grew weary from the Tasks, because the minds clash with his, and thus a discord festers in his heart. Many times had the gardener wished to resign from the Tasks, and the King is knowledgeable about this.

"O loving king, why has the king placed these Tasks on your servant? The shapes and sizes your servant suffers not, but from the weight and minds of the Tasks. Does the king fathom how much his servant can bear, that there are times when your servant's heart aches terribly, and his mind understands close to nothing. Why these Tasks? Does your servant not find the king's favour in being free from the Tasks? Your servant feels like butter spread too thinly over a slice of bread. Has my plight not reached my king?"

"Truly as you speak, none in my kingdom, save for my knights, has the mind to vast enough to contain and comprehend my designs. Take heart now, my servant, for everything has its own time; remember that it is my designs, not yours, that should unfold. These Tasks are fitting for you as I know you more than you do yourself."

Hence, the gardener grimaced with this intuition, persevering and enduring the weight and the minds of the Tasks. After a certain time he consulted the minds of the Tasks, revealing his every devotion to uphold the Tasks even when he is at great odds with the minds. The minds of the Tasks are pleased, and the King so much more. And at a season that the gardener least expects, the King summoned him to the his hall.

"My dear servant, I know your every effort, and I am pleased. You did not reject the Tasks for the sake of disparity with the minds, even though you very well can as the minds have consented before the time is due. Yet you have kept your duty to the Tasks. This is an exemplary sign of loyalty and obedience to me. I know the Tasks are not light and of your preferences, but you need these Tasks, even more so that now I present to you your gifts."

"Gifts? But my king, I only sought after one gift, one that I am ready to mark my life dedication on. How is it possible of this other gift?"

"Truly as you speak, I know well of the gift you bequest. But as are with all endowments, gifts are mine to give and to take, and they are in my designs as well. You have been stewards of many gifts. Now it is time to be a keeper. And for you to be one of this gift, you need this other gift that you have gained from your trials. May you be blessed. Many more trials await you. As long as you stay in my love, you will have peace and strength to face them all."

And so the overjoyed gardener together with his gift, embark on a new chapter, under the watchful eye of the King.

Confound it

2008-12-04T17:17:00.009+08:00

(Overdue post)

Yesterday got me quite in a fix. My car stalled in the morning, no ignition whatsoever. The first suspect was the battery. Thank God my car decided to not work in a very convenient place and a carpark was just steps away. A Sunway guard helped me push it to the spot. After the meal, and the much appreciated company, the mechanic came. Lo and behold, he is a distant relative. He brought along a voltmeter and a new car battery - there goes 20, 000 cents. It's alive! It's alive! So I got to drive it - to Monash. I was to meet up with my lecturer, on the day he stated so, only for me to find out that he was away on a staff retreat. *Fume* What am I to do? Anyhow it makes no difference for me to stick around in campus than it would to be at home. There are some rewards that no other can offer. After dinner, my car stalled for the second time. So the battery was vindicated. Thank God it happened at the same place, so my car can be left there overnight with diminished worry. Jinxed? You tell me. Danny came to my rescue with Sam's car, but I had to wait about an hour for him to finish his meal first. Thank God for a favourite presence.

Today, I would have an 8-hour stint of guitar lessons. That is two week's worth of 4 groups. I thought I would need to drive Sam's car all the way back to Taman Desa. Nah. I figured it would be best that I can get my relative to give my car a jolt just to get it to my usual mechanic. I do not wish to use Sam's car too much either. So right after breakfast, Lafir took Sam's car back to church. My relative advised me to send my car straight to his workshop in USJ7. I wish so, but I have lessons starting in an hour. So it was a smooth drive... until it stalled again - right in the middle of the overhead bridge between Mentari Business Park and PJS9. That was the last straw. As if the anger was not about to break me, the guilt of being an obstacle in the morning traffic was tremendous. Shit do not even smell this bad.

Stalled on the side of the overhead bridge.

What I see directly to my left.

My relative must be smirking when I called him up again. This time, I had to really drive straight to his workshop. He sent his foreman, who came on a scooter with another battery and croc-cables and opened the way for me throughout the sluggish journey to USJ7. It was prudent of him to do so, because my car stalled a few times. I called up my students to cancel the whole day's lessons, as finding the fault in my car could take hours. After fishing out every possible damage, it turns out that my main pulley was busted. The elastomer had worn off, thus no power was transmitted to run the engine and recharge the battery. The cost of a new original one - 24,000 cents (of course, including workmanship).

The workshop in USJ7.

The culprit - main pulley.

To cut the long story short, I learnt heaps about my car and how shallow my knowledge in car maintenance was. Actually, it still is. I invest little interest in automobiles. I appreciate my relative going all out to show me where each fault lies, and the comparison of good and bad parts. The coolest thing is that he plugged a computer for a systems checkup and debugged everything (well, almost) before handing the keys back to me. The crew was so kind and patient, I was compelled to get them each a coconut treat.

Coolest thing plugged to my car.

I headed back to Puchong only to leave in a moment because Danny needed a ride to church (it rained heavily), and I was stuck there until nightfall. What a day. What a day.

Quando

2008-12-03T19:25:00.007+08:00

Quando, Quando, Quando

by Michael Buble (feat. Nelly Furtado)

Tell me when will you be mine

Tell me quando quando quando

We can share a love divine

Please don't make me wait again

When will you say yes to me

Tell me quando quando quando

You mean happiness to me

Oh my love please tell me when

Every moments a day

Every day seems a lifetime

Let me show you the way

To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more

Tell me quando quando quando

Say its me that you adore

And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day

Every day seems a lifetime

Let me show you the way

To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more

Tell me quando quando quando

Say its me that you adore

And then darling tell me when

Whoa lover tell me when

Oh darling tell me when

Oh come on tell me when

Yea tell me when

(Can't upload video...bah)

Advent

2008-12-02T17:53:00.003+08:00

Everybody knows time flies. Especially when times are good, and cherishable moments seem just too brief. We are now in the Advent season, and the only thing to harvest are souls that belong to Christ. To relieve you of your ignorance, the word orginates from the Latin adventus, which means "coming". So who is coming? Well, Jesus is! No, I am not a goner, my bolts are all still nicely in place.

I recall during the eve of the new millenium, the world was expecting the second coming of the Lord. I was wondering, what will it be like? Will the waters roar? Will the earth tremble? Will He come clothed in terrifying rays of light? No, that is Hollywood. No one knows for sure how He will appear before us, but we do know He will come when we least expect Him (Revelation 3:3). It could be now. We cannot tell for sure either.

If you are not afraid, hallelujah! but I am. My life ain't sin-free. Never been. The stains and filth of my past are quite impossible to remove. Well, obviously I cannot, but He can. I thank God for last weekend's message. It was a heavy one, and yet Reverend Lin concluded with a hope only Christ can give: so as long as we try our best to repent from our sins, the Lord will be pleased with our efforts. That is how I remember it, so do correct me if this sounds heretic.

So when should should we repent? Why, now is the time! Hey hey, remember paragraph #2? We will not know when He is coming so we ought to be vigilant, show our best efforts! The Lord's grace is not to be taken for granted. It is true generations upon generations have been waiting for two millenia, but do not let skeptics derail us (2 Peter 3:3). Compared to the time of the Apostles, we are even nearer to Christ's second coming.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from it's sunshine,

For it's skies may turn to gray.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what is ahead.

Refrain

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter,

As the golden stairs I climb;

Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;

Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining,

There no tear will dim the eyes,

At the ending of the rainbow,

Where the mountains touch the sky.

Refrain

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow,

It may bring me poverty;

But the One Who feeds the sparrow,

Is the One Who stands by me.

And the path that be my portion,

May be through the flame or flood,

But His presence goes before me,

And I'm covered with His blood.

Refrain

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand

Lessons

2008-11-28T10:03:00.005+08:00

I've learnt that...

the easiest way for me to grow is to surround myself with people smarter than I am...

there are only two best times to give advice: when requested, and in a life-threatening situation...

under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved...

being kind is more important than being right...

I can always pray from someone when I do not have the strength to help in some other way...

just one person saying, "you've made my day", makes my day...

love, not time, heals all wounds...

when you're in love, it shows...

no one is perfect until you've fallen in love...

sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand...

I cannot choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it...

everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while climbing it...

no matter how serious my life requires me to be, I need a friend to act goofy with...

life is tougher, and I am tougher...

opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones I missed...

I should keep my words both soft and tender, for I may have to eat them tomorrow...

God does not give us everything we ask for...

money does not buy class...

it is those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular...

the Lord did not do everything in a day, what makes me think I can?

for all my failures, I should point at the mirror and take the blow.

SCF

2008-11-24T14:24:00.002+08:00

Yup. That stands for Senior Citizens' Fellowship. Check out what we prepared for them as refreshments. I must say, this is one of the few shots from my inferior camphone that came out crisp and sharp.

Everything that happened that Friday was in time's nick: Rev.Lin just walked out of the departure lobby as I arrived at LCCT; it was his due time to preach for the SCF when we arrived at church. The rest of the day was pretty much enjoyable.

Thank Thee O Lord.

Mum's cooking

2008-11-24T14:11:00.003+08:00

I went back to Taman Desa last Thursday, as I always do each week and on Mondays as well. Mom asked if I want dinner. Sure, since I would be having classes until 9.30pm. Staying out made me miss her cooking alot. Alot. Even this mere simple meal turned a quarter-century chap into a child at first mouth. I appreciate mom's effort even more now, though I only touched the fish and my bowl of egg+taufu+fishballs+onion soup. I often say "Thank you" to her. I hope she knows I love her immeasurably too.

Forward

2008-11-19T13:59:00.007+08:00

I just watched Meet the Robinsons for the second time. It is one of the best CG-animated movie from Disney and Pixar for me. I am sure you have already watched it by now, perhaps more views than I did, so there is no point in giving a synopsis here. Then again, I could be wrong. For you sorry ignorants, here's where you can get an idea of the story.

Two reasons for my sentiment for this movie: family-oriented and positive outlook in life. The story's dramatic thrill and sinister stems from Lewis's obsession with tinkering and inventions and he required Goob's (his roommate) assistance to complete an audacious science project for a school science fair, which is to take place the next day. Goob's baseball league tournament coincided with that, and staying up all night to help Lewis cost him his alertness and hence his team's victory. While Lewis' future appears to be impressive by all standards, Goob fell into a gloomy and reclusive life - harbouring an infestation in his heart that finally concluded Lewis was solely responsible for his inevitable destitution - he did not move on since his league's lost. Of course, Lewis in the end turned that around, from the past.

Lewis, on the other hand, owes his success in life, family and career to his unfettered optimism. He did not let his circumstances or predicaments blur his dream and pursue it fervently. None of his earlier inventions are practical, but it took just one right science project to launch his life into a whole new phase and propel him into his marvelous future. When he had successfully right the wrongs in the future, his future-son, Wilbur, fulfilled the promise of taking him to see his mother whom left him at the doors of the orphanage. Just inches away from the back of his mother, Lewis retreated. Lewis told the perplexed Wilbur, "I already have a [future] family."

I envy this kid on all levels. Er... yeah he's just a fictional character. But what I would give to have a glimpse of my future family. Now that would make alot of things easier today, just find out all the rights I did in future and carry them out today, and observe everything to fall into place like clockwork. Juuuussssst nifty.

Nay, kicking back and watch life go on too smoothly will not make living very meaningful, won't you say? Life must have its struggles and sacrifices. I guess with all the tests and data, we can at best forecast possible futures and perhaps single out one most likely to occur. The future's never certain, but it is what we make of today. No matter how much effort you put into planning, there can be many hindrances and sudden detours. There is one finishing line that is mine for sure, that no matter how I run this race or how long it takes me, I will be with the Lord at the end of my days. I cannot really tell if I am always prepared for what goes in between there and now, but having Christ by my side, a perilous journey shall be a safe and peaceful one. Just keep moving forward.

“... we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” –Walt Disney

Little Wonders

Let it go,

Let it roll right off your shoulder

Don't you know

The hardest part is over

Let it in,

Let your clarity define you

In the end

We will only just remember how it feels

Chorus:

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain

Let it slide,

Let your troubles fall behind you

Let it shine

Until you feel it all around you

And I don't mind

If it's me you need to turn to

We'll get by,

It's the heart that really matters in the end

Chorus:

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain

All of my regret

Will wash away some how

But I can not forget

The way I feel right now

Chorus:

In these small hours

These little wonders

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away but these small hours

These small hours, still remain,

Still remain

These little wonders

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away

But these small hours

These little wonders still remain

Brownies... real brown

2008-11-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today was the second time we baked in church's cafe. Never mind the ingredients, the instructions suck. Okay maybe it's us. We wanted to bake this:

and tadaaa we got this...

Level of fun: off the roof

Successful result: very questionable

The Anchor

2008-11-16T02:09:00.009+08:00

"...hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast..." (KJV, Hebrews 6:19)

You may know what an anchor is, but I doubt you appreciate how it works; read about it here. Just to draw the picture for you, in times of storms and turbulent waves, the anchor is a vessel's only hope of staying afloat.

I joined the Boys' Brigade (BB) in 1996; I was in Form 1. The thought of being in regal uniform and performing in a band made my ego drool. Chics would dig this.

*Text removed*

There. I just omitted more than 2000 words. If you are really interested to know that history of mine, ask me personally. If there is anything worth sharing here, it is the two little words that still stir my heart and are largely responsible for the shaping of my character. Making decisions is the hallmark burden of adulthood. So what better stage in life than of teenagehood to hone this skill? The BB training is this: for every decision we make, we have to be sure that it is the choice we are willing to uphold, and sure that we are ready for the consequences that entail. That is not enough, for many often flee from responsibilities they agreed to. We must also be steadfast (modern spelling) - avoid excuses, complete what was begun and be unwavering. There are no gray areas for pitstops and only optimistic certainty drives us. Let words be few and actions be our mark. You see, the BB's motto and watchword is Sure & Stedfast.

As a kid with much military influence, I took this quite literally. Many facets of life I deem as warfare. I would not accept defeat; I will never step into the field without adequate knowledge of the enemy, without excessive training, without unchallenged equipment or without the certainty that I would return alive for another battle. How much of it that left in me, only old friends can tell. I could be wrong. At least I still know I am at risk of taking things literally, hence my constant need of clarification.

I cannot help feeling a tinge of insult when people question my grounds. It could be worse. Depending on who the person is who asks "Are you sure?" the normal episode is that I pop a nerve and sternly emphasise "I am Rick." These days I should think a "Yes" would suffice and downplay the intimidation. Hmm... if I get spiteful I caaaaaaaaaan be extremely generous in colourful well-worded "remarks". That has not happened for quite awhile now, and I have mentioned that I am notoriously biased.

I had moved from one church to another for more than a couple of times. It is exhausting and I felt worn out for a good few years, like butter spread too thinly over a slice of bread. But in FCC I released my anchor, and will not set sail again unless the Captain commands so. Of course, there are other areas my anchor has grounded in. The hymm below concludes my message here. Sometimes you might hear me humming to its tune. May you be blessed.

Words: Priscilla Owens (1829-1899)

Music: James Kirkpatrick (1838-1921)

Will Your Anchor Hold

Will your anchor hold in the storms of life,

When the clouds unfold their wings of strife?

When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain

Will your anchor hold, or firm remain?

Chorus:

We have an anchor that keeps the soul

Steadfast and sure while the billows roll;

Fastened to the rock which cannot move,

Grounded firm and deep in the Saviour’s love!

Will your anchor hold in the straits of fear?

When the breakers roar and the reef is near;

While surges rave, and the wild winds blow,

Shall the angry waves then your bark o’er flow?

Chorus

Will your anchor hold in the floods of death,

When the waters cold chill your latest breath?

On the rising tide you can never fail

Will your anchor hold within the veil?

Chorus

Will your eyes behold through the morning light

The city of gold and the harbour bright?

Will your anchor safe by the heavenly shore,

When life’s storms are past for evermore?

Chorus

Clutter

2008-11-13T14:26:00.009+08:00

I woke up at the time I am supposed to be in Sunway for a breakfast date today. Drat. The panic that striked me felt as though I missed something dreadfully important for the day. It is. So after an apology call I snoozed for a couple more hours.

I had the delightful opportunity of having a last meal (lunch) with Garry for this year, before he leaves this State to travel with his parents and take a direct flight back to Miri. It will another 3 months before I see this buddy again. I am not sure if things will be the same then.

So I got to reach home (Taman Desa) earlier than expected; my class is not due until the next half hour. That gave me a breather to sit in front of the T.V. and catch Oprah, a talkshow I used to follow. The talk today is about homemakers who have impulsive shopping habits and hence congested their spaces in their houses with stuff. The amount of items one family had was staggering - how can they fit so many things into one room? They have so many purchased items, both used and brand new for years, that their children's rooms are invaded, including the garage. As it turns out, a member of each family is a victim to a psychological disorder. So Oprah, being the whiz that she is, hired a space solution expert to turn the lives of these families around. And my, the expert did more than just help these families get organised; he laid down fundamental principles on what to keep and which items are to go. Watching the families redeem the comfort of their house was a moving thing; generational love that was absent has been rekindled. Did I just reveal I get watery-eyed for watching Oprah? Drat.

While the expert conveys wisdom with a touch of humour, the issues he addressed is no light matter. "People often find themselves in a dilemma when they have to choose which to keep, memorable items or things they might need later. Here's the thing families should ask themselves: does keeping these things help us live our best today, the best we can make currently? If not, away with it. There simply is no point in holding on to a plate you bought years ago and has yet to use it. Give it to goodwill. But the coming in must stop. Respect the space in your houses. Draw boundaries. If an item means of value to you, treat it as it is due with respect. If you wish to live forward you have to stop thinking of the past and not worry too much about the future. Learn to let go. Start small. Embrace what life offers you. Don't let anything you don't need come into your life."

Gee. For awhile it sounded like a new religion was born.

What the expert said is applicable to more than just clearing off clutter in living spaces. Do you know people or have friends that you do not need, especially relationships that do not build you up? I am not sure if this is even an acceptable mentality for a Christian, but I would like to be able to prune my social circle. Why befriend people who bogs me down and impedes my advancement?

If you have been hurt from a past, and there is simply no way to heal from it, let go. Choose wisely who you walk with through this short mortal journey. It is clear from His Word that we ought to be careful and can be selective in friendship: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared" (NIV, Proverbs 22:24-25)

What about clutter in our spiritual lifes? For everything is spiritual, is there something you still do that drags you deeper in sin? Are these things slowing you down from growing stronger in Christ? Pray and take action, the Lord awaits you. Change will not happen at the drop of a hat, so start small, take baby steps.

Too many stuff in the Worry Department? Time to clear them, I say. "An anxious heart weighs a man down..." (NIV, Proverbs 12:25), so "trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take" (NIV, Proverbs 3:5-6).

Fear the Lord for His greatness - love Him for His grace.

Come to the Father

Though your gift is small

Broken hearts, broken lives

He will take them all

The power of the Word

The power of His blood

Everything was done

So you would come

I do not respond to being tagged.

2008-11-11T18:03:00.000+08:00

Enough said.

Inside

2008-11-10T11:23:00.006+08:00

Man has always been reliant on eggs. It is the embodiment of new life. Not only it tastes good, it packs the nutrients we need everyday. Safe a few, you can find eggs being essential ingredients to most dishes and other forms of food. Just a couple of centuries ago, eggs were also used as shampoo, especially for those with long hair.

Other than the fear of escalating cholesterol levels, what is there not to love about eggs? Studies have shown that if you consume only the albumen (egg white), the protein it contains will not be activated in the absence of its yolk. If you can read this, then surely you have never lived on the streets. Not that I have, but I can imagine how less savoury life can be without eggs. More than half of the food we enjoy will be stripped from the menu when the birds cease laying. *Shudder* It goes without saying, all of us have taken eggs for granted. The egg, truly is one of the most amazing thing ever made, and I praise the Creator for it.

I am sure you can find more accurate studies and what-nots about eggs from the internet than I can explain here.

Did you know the top end of the egg can withstand a significant amount of pressure? That is the hardest part to crack - not impossible, just require most effort to. The first construction of the dome is based on the egg's design; the mechanical forces are translated from the top and dispersed from the bottom. Yet, the widest side of the egg is the most fragile. Because we only directly consume what is inside the egg, its shell draws little respect. To those who cherish organic compost, the shell serves no more than just another source of Calcium.

The egg's design is perfect, as are all other creations. Nothing goes in, nothing come out. Let's not go into molecular level. I thank God I need not bring out a hammer or chainsaw to crack an egg. Breakfast would take hours and get real messy. For the goodness of an egg can only be realised beneath its shell, yet this goodness is contained and protected only by its shell.

Many of us are just like that. I do not know which side you place before others - your hardest, or your most fragile? For me, it depends. You know it. You know if you are against my hardest or the most fragile side of my shell. The many beatings of Life has hardened my shell a little. If I were to exist centuries ago in Japan, my katana would always be drawn even in a casual conversation. To some of you, I bore a hole through my shell for you to have unlimited takings of me. But handle me with care, you can break me too.

Breaking the myth

2008-11-06T17:24:00.008+08:00

Alright alright, let's keep down, yo.

If you grew up with me, this might come to you as a shock. I do enjoy vegetables - raw vegetables. Except cucumbers, they irk me. I love bean sprouts, those grown in Ipoh or Manjung. They are exceptionally sweet, I tell you, sweet!

Many of you must have noticed and now understand why I seldom take greens during my meals. I am still trying to get converted into eating cooked ones. Let's start with those in soups. Hey, you cannot expect me to change a 2-decade old abhorrence for vegetables in a snap. Cut me some slack. I am really trying to make little changes here and there.

My first introduction (thanks to Feleh) to bittergourd juice was in Taman Connaught's night market months ago - my first reaction pure disgust, but that has changed after a few more rounds. Now I wish there is some everyday. Last night's trip there got interesting, they mixed dragonfruit with it and cost me a whopping 4 bucks. All good, really worth it. A slight euphoria of healthiness. Still cannot stomach cucumber juice though. *Glee*

But I noticed a big change in me lately. After lunch with Feleh and Jeremy (her labmate, who's often dozing off today) at SS19's pan mee, I came home (Taman Desa) and saw a bowl of raw... bak choy?

I have no idea. I was actually happy. My eyes lit up and I cannot help culling for those small cute ones to munch on.

Bak choy

So it's munch time.

There is a slight bitter after-taste, still bearable and yummy.

After a few, wait, I lost count. I had to stop. Mum needs them for dinner. So I hope we are clear now, alright?

Rick takes his greens! In his own ways. *Smug*

Oh, remember to wash your hands always.

MEology

2008-11-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

I got this list from Sam's blog. Lazy to modify it. No, I do not have his permission. He did not tag me (I got tagged more than once, I must be popular *smug*) anyway.. here's some stuff you may or may not know about me:

Profile:

Name: Rick Sim (you're gonna believe this?)

Gender: Male

Current Age: 25 years, born April 11, 1983

Current Height: 174cm

Current Weight: 81kg (yes... it's true, and declining)

Appearance:

Hair Colour: Black (extreme brown to be exact), darn straight

Eye Colour: Dark brown

Skin Colour: Tanned Chinese Yellow (got such thing?)

Piercings: No, and not planning to get any

Often found in: places only I know

Family:

Clan: Sim

Parents: Romeo (Dad, age 50), Liana (Mum, age 50)

Siblings: Wendy (sister, age 23), Jack (brother, age 19)

Wife: check with me again in 3-4 years

Affiliations:

Race: Chinese

Nationality: Malaysian (and lukewarm about it)

Religion: Christian

Church: FCC

Mobile Service Provider: Maxis

Internet Provider: Streamyx

Internet Browser: Chrome (too bad for Mac users)

Computer: Fujitsu Lifebook A6020 *smug*

University: Monash Sunway

Hometown: Kuala Lumpur

Studies:

High-school: S.M.K Desa Perdana (Taman Desa 2)

University: Did I not just answered this?

Degree: Economics and International Business

Are you a good student: I am biased, but sometimes my results surprise me

Are you ever late: Are you nuts?

Always hand in assignments on time: not this semester

Ambition: Own a shop, possibly selling Oakleys/Harleys/high-end bicycles/bass guitars or musical instruments...

Interests: see above

Favourites:

Books: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Non-fiction and Military Novels. Also books on Interests (see above).

Author: J.R.R.Tolkien, Stephen Ambrose, Michael Crichton.

Magazines: Bass, bicycles

TV shows: Boston Legal, House, The Simpsons

Anime: Samurai X. Basically all those Samurai, ninja stuff...

Food: American, Italian, Mamak and Meat!

Fruit: Watermelon and mangoes

Drink: Water and fruit juices.

Secret Recipe cake: Chocolate Indulgence.

Animals: on my plate

Mode of Public Transport: The LRT

Hopes for the Future:

Age to get married : Do the math, will ya?

Number of kids: max 2 (just my preference, I want at least a daughter)

Career path: stable and promising, just wanna raise a great family

Car: Hummer, otherwise a Volvo 4x4

Place to live: anyplace my future wife wanna be at

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions):

Are you crazy: Is that a valid question?

Are you single: Yeaps, check again in... if you can remember

Are you Awesome: Yeah, Definitely..

Contact me @:

Mobile: (+6) 012-*** ****

Home: (+6) 03-798*****

Email: *******@_______mail.com

Facebook: My Monash student email

MSN: same as email

Skype: none

That's all for now.

Finale

2008-11-02T11:35:00.004+08:00

Alas.

It all comes down to one last paper. After tomorrow I should be a free man, and I am gonna enjoy a the rest of 2008 as if I have truly graduated. Sounds awfully optimistic, no? Pardon my exuberance.

As Christians we are often reminded that victory is ours to claim - for when the Lord is with us, who can triumph against us? Now that is quite a motivation. But does it not set spirits a tad high? I anticipated your raised eyebrow, for my saying so impresses a very cynical and doubtful tone.

Remember Joshua, the general who took after Moses's leadership? I can imagine his expression when the Lord told him to send the musicians encircling the walls of Jericho - seven times - sounding the trumpets. In today's warfare this story invokes immeasurable ridicule. We now have nuclear warheads, robots fused with detonators to go kamikaze, satellite-controlled missiles - all will be gone with an effortless push of a button.

What about Daniel and his three companions, throw into fire and stayed in a den with lions? Maybe they were the real X-Men, and perhaps they stunk so badly that the lions lost their appetites. Do you know that scientists have discovered an aeronautic gel that literally no heat can be felt on one side even when metal-melting heat is applied on the other? 'Fret not about those big cats, just remember to pack lethal doses of tranquilisers. Oh, a shotgun would be useful. *Grin*

I think one of the most gruesome accounts in the Bible would be Abraham's; the Lord asked for the sacrifice of his only son, Isaac (actually, his only son with Sarah - he had Ishmael with Hagar). He probably endured the weight of a mountain in his heart and mind. Perhaps the Lord's instructions overhauled his mental capacity and thus became insane enough to fulfil the ordeal. You would cringed with disbelief if a father made headline news claiming to have received the same command today.

Surely these that I mentioned escapes comprehension. It is hard for me to accept at first knowledge too. What are all these (nonsense), tests?

Years ago I attend a course on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. In the area of faith, I learnt that there are more than one type of faith. I cannot recall all of it, except the Faith of God. The only reason I remember this one is due to its mystery. It seems God has faith too. What for? He knows what was, is and is to come - so what is the use of Him having faith? If I were you I'd cease wondering here. To me, it is having a faith that is of God's level - so strong, absolute and dependable - that it fills the deepest doubts and has infinitely more to go round with.

The Covenant Players who came on the previous weekend drove home the point when Jamie (one of the actors) said, "If you understand and trust, that is wisdom; if you do not understand and trust, that is faith". It was by faith, Joshua worshipped and the walls of Jericho fell into rubbles; it was by faith, Daniel and his companions stood for God, and survived every danger; it was by faith, Abraham raised his knife, and his son was returned to him. None of them understood what God has in store for them, and they trust Him still. How can I be like them, just a little?

I must confess there are very few things in life that I deal with by faith. But I am learning, to let go the reins and give them to Him. I do not know what beholds in the future, just that my life will be God-led and Christ-centred, for He has given me the peace to take on every challenge that comes next.

One of the coming weekdays, I might meet a turning point in my life. It is so difficult a decision that it almost took the best of me. Whatever happens, the Lord still has been good to me - always has.

Heavenly Father,

I pray not that I pass my papers

I pray that Your hands guide me through

I pray not that I get what I desire so

I pray that it is Your will to make it true.

scīre

2008-10-30T17:22:00.006+08:00

Is there such thing as matters that the mind cannot comprehend?

How does the knowledge of crossing boundaries reach one when one remains safe on own territory?

I love logic. I love science. 'Cause if you wish to know what happens when you disturb a pristine condition, you poke it, and observe the reaction(s). Wish to know what it is like inside? Dissect or cut it open. Curious in how much something can endure? Torture it, er... I mean, run a few tests.

Logic has its dark side. I first embraced its totality when I learnt of the Vulcan Logic from StarTrek, one of my all-time favourite T.V. series. I am sure that tickles you, that coming from me. But I'll have you know that the grounds for it comes from the Fathers of Philosophy - the Greeks.

To function on pure logic often discards emotions. I know that all too well. I can still sometimes picture myself gripping my emotions by their necks, subduing their every influence within me. Why still? Well, it was not until months ago I reconciled with them, a truce, if you will. How did it happen? I have no clue. Some say I am growing into a person rather than being the mechanised individual I used to portray.

The trouble with emotions is one cannot deal with it just as science does, and that often throws one into a sanity seizure. To a certain extent, maybe, but so small a fraction that it becomes negligible. So the bulk of it remains an enigma, a governing factor that separates those from surviving and truely living.

In retrospect, I did encounter cases where I only allow certain things to sink in much later. The most extreme being four years. Bottomline is, I am emotionally S (out of D.I.S.C). That ain't an expected discovery.

The science of emotions is a hoax and utter rubbish.

This is my desire, to honour You

Lord with all my heart I worship You

all I have within me

I give You praise

all that I adore is in You

Lord I give You my heart

I give You my soul

I live for You alone

Every breath that I take

Every moment I'm awake

Lord have Your way in me

Heartfelt gratitude

2008-10-29T23:39:00.000+08:00

This is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard (back in 2002).

Thank You

by The Katinas

Verse 1:

Just a little while longer I wanna pray

Can't get You off my mind so I came to say

Thank You Lord, just for loving me, alright

Many times I do forget

Every need that You have met

Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me

You are there when I am down and out

You're holding me, Your love is so amazing

Oh it changed me

Chorus

Here I am with all I have

Raise my hands to worship You

I wanna say thank you, oh thank you

For everything, for who You are

You cover me, You touch my heart

I wanna say thank you

Verse 2:

I could have died in my sin but You saved me

Didn't have any hope at all

You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on

I should have been the one to pay

But instead You took my place

Amazing grace, it's more than just a song

Even though I don't deserve Your love for me

You look beyond my fault and You showed me mercy

Chorus

I wanna say thank you for the sun

Lord we thank you for the rain

Thank you for the love You gave

Chorus

Empty

2008-10-28T15:28:00.002+08:00

Something's missing in these photos...

Truly grateful

2008-10-26T18:32:00.004+08:00

As loyal readers, you'd probably remember that I had mentioned how I reveal information. My childhood friends (close ones) knows and have grown accustomed to the fact that "he never has to justify himself, 'cause he ain't got no reason to... even if he has any, he probably won't leak easily." Sometimes it takes other people to help me understand myself. Often when that happens, some conflict was suffered. One of my bad habits is that when something has already been implied, I expect people to follow through as though it is obvious.

Exactly a week ago, I took a D.I.S.C. personality test. Although this test has some tolerance for accuracy, I must say I am not surprised at my results. I came out pure D. My tendencies include: getting immediate results, causing action, accepting challenges, making quick decisions, questioning the status quo, taking authority, managing trouble and solving problems. It also reviews that I desires power and authority, prestige and challenge, opportunity for individual accomplishments and advancement, wide scope of operations, direct answers, freedom from controls and supervision.

Most descriptions fit me like a glove. But I like to believe I prefer doing things subtlely now, even if it means taking authority. What I truly appreciate is direct answers... and perhaps some immediate feedback. However, my C and I characteristics still show, under certain circumstances. Too much time spent on making decisions is rare for me, and I can discard emotions like throwing litter on our roads. (Of course I do not throw litter while driving, how insulting!)

I had a personality clash with a close friend today, a first. He is high I-S. It must've been my mistake to rely on the memory that I had told him some details, which I did not, while I did tell to another. Now if you understand the top paragraph you'd probably get the idea why. I thought it was not worth my explanation so I conveniently brush it aside. But for him to come out from his shell to iron-out the issue, that pricked my ears. He said my refusal to fill him in properly made him feel unimportant and sidelined. Boy, I have never been this glad that he mentioned so. I would have no idea how others could have felt whenever I do that! After learning this much, we now appreciate each other even more.

One of my greatest pet-peeve is people who try to influence my generosity. Take my word, when I do not feel or am generous, do... not... push... it. You really do not want to ignite what should have been left alone. I understand we all have our own constraints but comparing does not move me abit. I can also sometimes be biased when it comes to favours. This is as honest as I can get.

I have come to realised how self-centred I really am, than to think that I actually was. Do you have that issue?

Of course, change is imminent. After all, which God-fearing chap would not change for the better? I bet it will be a painful and narrow journey. But trust me when I urge you to keep your expectations low for the rate of change will not be impressive. For starters, come clean on me and do not ever fear hurting my feelings. Not that I have none; I just do not allow alot of things to.

Make me, make me more like You (each day)

Shape me, I’ll never be the same

I lay my life, surrender all I have to follow You

Change me, change my heart I pray

Inspire me, I’ll never be the same

Your touch, Your love, transform my life

Jesus You are my heart’s desire - Jonathan Tse.

Separation

2008-10-26T01:47:00.005+08:00

Today... is another marked day for me and my beloved. I will be sending her to the "hospital" soon. Our 3rd month anniversary is coming in a couple of weeks. I hope to be able to celebrate the momentous day with her.

Since the past few weeks, I noticed her voice... that something is wrong with it. That got me worried, very worried. I tried diagnosing her symptoms but to avail, because it is not a simple one that I can cure on my own. Thus, I have to send her to the "doctors" and suffer her absence for a week or so. A week! Oh how can I bear?! Somebody hold me.

Yes, there were days I had neglected her, and I truly regret that. Those are the days that I am so tired I cannot even cuddle with her. But she remains obedient and silent, comforted by her cozy crimson velveted-bed with metallic frames. Her patience with me deepens my guilt.

My foolishness became more pronounced when I fail to keep our "wedding certificate" well. Perhaps I was mesmerised at her beauty on our "wedding day" that all my neurons dumped everything stored to capture the event. Oh woe unto me! But praise God, I called up the "legal authorities" to plead for a reprint, and they are doing so without incurring us any charges.

Why is it so important? Well, we need it so that the "hospital" would accept her and treat her symptoms. This is a peculiar "hospital", asking for our certificate, given the tech we have these days. But I still will ask for the reprint even if she is at her best.

Please pray for us; for me, to have the strength to pull through the week without seeing her and that my sanity stays; for her, that her "doctors" will be able to find the cause and treat it well so that these symptoms will be gone forevermore.

Take heart, Ibanez Soundgear Prestige. I will definitely miss you. *Sniff* No separation is too brief.

Mot juste

2008-10-24T00:22:00.005+08:00

(Courtesy of Felicia Chung)

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. “House” in French, is feminine – “la maison.” “Pencil” in French, is masculine – “le crayon.”

One puzzled student asked, “What gender is computer?” The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether “computer” should be a masculine of a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval;

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (“le computer”) because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2.They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3.They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Ngek

2008-10-23T13:29:00.003+08:00

It is a lousy title, but it beats other titles that precipitated in my mind: Double trouble; Duo-input; Squared; I-Don't-Give-A-Damn-What-Title-It-Is-I-Just-Wanna-Post-Two-Items.

Diminishing streak?

I wonder if age is really catching up. Perhaps too many things are cluttering my train of thoughts. Maybe after my exams I ought to pick up Sun-Tzu's Art of War again. Why? I fear losing my strategic thinking.

I used not to disclose my innermost thoughts; I often provided surface feedback. So when did I give pure responses? On a need-to-know-basis. If that sounds familiar, yes, it is from the military. I was not being stingy with my insights, it is because advice is free and everyone is competing in voicing out. So I would just stand back and observe verbal arrows flying across spaces between people. Typically, if the issue matters not to me, there is not point in heeding what others think about my opinions. When it does, I bring out the bulldozers.

Ah... I've scrambled your minds far enough. One pet peeve I have about myself is that I unknowingly tell people things that strikes my Achilles' Heel before I am even sure of any certainty. I guess one of the reasons I do that now, is to restrain myself from any impulsive decisions and thus taking hasty actions.

When we were much younger, the world seems much simpler. As we grow, we will realise there are lots to be dealt with, thus pushing us out of our comfort zone. These days I take longer time to make decisions, something that contradicts all that is me. Is this my safety valve?

Destructive element

I woke up at noon. Groggy as usual right out of bed (a mattress to be precise), I freshened up and waltz down to the kitchen to make breakfast (lunch to most of you). Breakfast without eggs make me sulk. Thankfully we have a good supply of it.

I was arranging the eggs into the refrigerator's egg tray when I knocked one on the corner of the shelf where all of it was stored. Ticked, I decided to make French toasts after cleaning up the egg white that dripped onto the floor.

While pan-frying each slice, I cannot help noticing how long it takes to make one slice and wonder will it be a good idea to boost the flame to speed it up. In a second, I decided not to. The reason is it will cook the outer layer too soon and turn the slice brown at an instant. Experience tells me that big flames turn cooking bad because you have to keep flipping/stirring. Unless you are using a wok. I figured that a small fire would be safer as I can better control the rate of heat transfer unto each slice. Thus a savoury meal.

There are times when we are desperate. So our instincts kick in, setting us on a hunt to feed that hunger. When we have found the thing that meet our need, some us act on template ideas and others attempt to be creative. Either, the motivation catalyses our reactions and make us more prone to be hasty. Bad phenomenon for success. Nevertheless, this can still be contingent on opportunity. When a rare one comes along, don't sit on it. Seize!

Perhaps this example will help you relate to my nonsense:

Suppose I start noticing a girl. Stop right there. Do not wonder, it's purely hypothetical. If I am noticing a girl, my senses automatically become more acute towards her. That is natural of all guys. Based on my analogy above, I should set the flame low, i.e. not rush into a courtship and get to know her better, first.

Still the question arises: when should it be made known to the girl? Am I to decide it will be French toast before making it, or making it first only to realise it is French toast?

And oh... someone realised what (one of) my Love language is. Drat.

Of effort and picking up pieces...

2008-10-19T02:01:00.007+08:00

(Long exhale)

Finally its over. I already lost track on how many times the others and I had been practising with the contestants.

A big applause for Joanne Sim and Eliviyana Demang, for singing and composing Sedar (the lyrics are below) respectively - they both reign champion in the competitions. Joanne was back in Tawau and she touched down on KL just a couple of weeks ago. Before returning, she had already engaged me as part of her band through Live Messenger. But when she returned, I met her in church to confirm the identity of the rest of her bandmates. The conversation went approximately like this: (WARNING: this is based on direct translation from Mandarin)

Saturday, October 4th, Afternoon

"Yo, who else will be playing for you ah?"

"Err... don't know wor. So far you and Tim only lor."

"What?! So late already wor, you haven't find others ah?" (in shock)

"I asked *** **** and ***** wan, but at first they don't want, then they said okay okay play for you la... I got pissed lor.. hmph!" (with some glee)

"Oh... so how now?"

"I want two keyboardists wor, you know anyone ah? I don't wish to ask ******** and ******** 'cause they already quite stress with their own stuff."

"Hmm... k k, I think I know the best person(s), leave them to me. Drummer leh? Ah never mind la, I find Gracey, she won't turn down wan, kakaka."

Thankfully, on the very same day Gabriel Li and Jovina Ng agreed and so did Gracey Yong without much hassle. Lafir and I immediately figured out the chords and we agreed that the intro and outro needed something extra. I got some (musical help) from AhSeng, which we later dropped. I said I would send the chords to Gabriel, which I forgot until our very first practice the following Friday (October 10th). I sent it only to Timothy Lim. I know Joanne was irritated. I would have been too. Nevertheless, we managed to figure out the song arrangement and added some cool chords for a touch of jazz on first practise. But it was nerve-wrecking everytime we reach the end of the song as we seldom got it right. Joanne was worried if the song is too short. But we assured her that this song was written for worship, thus the nature of the song is such. Lafir knows how much I like this song; I had flooded him with my affection for it. I could be biased; since my experience in Indonesia, most Malay songs moves me easily. Maybe I am a Malaysian in denial. We had another round of practice on Tuesday (October 14th). Still the ending was an issue for me. In spite of everything else and so short of practise hours, we made a great team. Maybe its due to the fact that all of Joanne's musicians are from the Saturday night service and thus have rather similar ideas for the feel of the song. Maybe Joanne is such a good vocalist that her voice overshadowed our music. Either way, all praise be to God. But Lafir's input was paramount: the song must be moving, very moving even from the intro. As this song relies heavily on the piano, Gabriel did an amazing job - as always. Joanne also submitted her own composition, but it never made it to the finals. After seeing her elder sister sing, music certainly runs in their family.

Another notable person of talent is Alvin Chang. His song composition won 1st-runner up (sung by Chanel Ting) and he bagged the 2nd-runner up for singing Ken Ha's Jesus, Saviour. Jovina, Gracey and I were also in these set of bands; we spent most practice time with this fella. Alvin was on guitar for his composition while Danny Wong and Timothy Wong served as the hardrock electric guitarist and acoustic respectively for Ken's. There was no doubt that Alvin's song (it's in Chinese, I cannot write) was an eye-opener. The feel is extremely jovial and well... very Chinese. Heh. He confessed he faced a terrible struggle when he was left with an English song to sing. Pronouncing words well has always been a stumbling block. So he hoped his composition wins a place, even if his singing does not. So yours truly slapped him with some sense over Live Messenger: in a competition, be all in it, or not at all. Letting loose of the competitive streak by the littlest bit ascertains defeat. I have been in enough competitions to nail that insight. He had to sing as though he had already won. I do not know how much that encouraged him. But Alvin is a superb performer and entertainer. Chanel is a very good sport too.

Congratulations to Joyceline Lee and Cassie Chu (and gang, notably SiaoTing and TyngShin, well-paired keyboardists they are) for their song compositions; Ricky Wong played risky chords on the electric guitar for Joyceline's, which he is very good at. Cassie's song won 2nd-runner up, sung by 1st-runner up FuiYin. Before I forget, hats off to Theodore Kong and Hollie Leong for being bubbly (and lame) emcees, to the usher team led by Victor Lee, the media people such as Jason Pang and Zermi Ng, and the promotion team such as SookChiung and ChongHing. I am sure many others were involved, I just cannot recall now. The dance team too deserve some credit, but Samuel Vun really was the X-factor they needed. He... oh he can move. Enough said. I ain't gay.

Even as I have enjoyed the event and playing for five contestants, there are much to grief about. Just read my friend's blog, I felt similar for some of the things he mentioned. I am sure negatives feelings will fester after such an event. My utmost digust goes to... (text removed due to small hearts and even smaller minds)... . Yes, I know who you people are; you were present. I'd say **** off with all the love in the world. But I would refrain, even though I feel very much so.

I heard those who did not win went sour-faced. I did not notice. I was ecstatic that Joanne and the song Sedar won.

As for myself, I know I could have done much much better if I have the skills years ago. I mind-recorded all my mistakes last night. Yes, my slap-poppin' improved, but my left fingers are no where as fast as they used to be. I wish people would just come clean to me "That line you played sucks". And I dislike people telling me "you played well" or my bassline's "okay" when they really have no idea. That is even more hollow than not saying at all. Hello! Give me the details. I like feedbacks from Gabriel; they are very constructive. I also wished AhSeng was around; he'd tell me exactly where to improve on and even point out mistakes I never knew I have. What can I say, I detest playing safe grooves. Straight rock ain't my thing. Off-beats are more fun. However, my bad habit is being adventurous during actual events. Never really changed that yet. I am not happy on my own part.

SEDAR

(lyrics removed due to copyright infringement)

awww....... :p

Mmmmmm

2008-10-07T13:06:00.005+08:00

This is the flavour of the month. I wish to dedicate it to everyone, but it would be damn gay to the guys. So its just to all the females I know then. Heh.

Enjoy...

Save Me by Josh Verdes.

Save me

I feel like I’m goin’ crazy

I’ve got this lady

She’s got me on my knees

I’m saying baby baby please

Don’t leave tonight without giving me

Some of your lovin’ it makes me weak

Somebody save me

And lately

I feel like I’m goin’ crazy

I’ve got this lady

The way her lips just move

The way her hips just groove

The feelin’ I get when she says my name

It’s a feeling that never feels the same

Save me

Coz I found the

Love that’s a one of a kind

This time I’m in for it

And I know I’m in just way too deep

Someone, oh someone

Save me now

And lately,

I know I’m goin’ crazy

I’ve got this lady

You’re now that’s all I think about

The next time I can take her out

I really don’t wanna feel this way

But I think it’s already way too late

Save me

I found the love that’s a one of a kind

This time I’m in for it

I know I’m in just way too deep

Someone ooohh someone

Save me

Coz I’ve been there way too many times before

And everytime I say it’s not gonna work

Not this time so…save me

Just save me

Somebody save me

Yeah…oh ohhh

Coz I found the love that’s a one of a kind

This time I’m in for it

and I know I’m in just way too deep

Someone…oh someone

I said someone….

Save me now

Save me now…

Back to the Word

2008-10-02T20:18:00.004+08:00

Today is a very marked day, if not one of the most important day thus far. I bought my Bible. I used to have a NIV since 1996, only to lose it a quarter year ago or so. It is only natural that I prefer a KJV one, given my taste for things of old. Perhaps I will get a latin one in my later years. Heh.

As I flipped through the Gospels to marvel at the red-prints of the Lord's words, I felt a familiar calm. I have been harbouring worries. This verse caught my eye "For I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee..." (Acts 18:10). Of course, the Lord was reassuring Paul of speaking of the Truth in Corinth and not be afraid of any dangers posed to him. But to me, it carries a different message to one with a vulnerable heart beneath the tough and thick outlook.

Usually, it is actions or words that hurt me - it can also happen when nothing is done or said. Sometimes it is deliberate, other times it is unintentional and often escape certain people's minds. I simply cannot blame them, neither can I blame myself - I should not. Expectations and disappointments just happen. Upon the Lord's Words, I find it easier to let go of my anxieties, to do what I can, to finish what I must, cherish what is before my eyes, to lay down before the Lord what is to come and pray that it will be as He planned, and not what I expect it to be.

Praise Thee O Lord, for Thy loving Words.

Where are you...?

2008-09-29T03:36:00.008+08:00

Dear...

Do you know how lonely it gets? How it grips my heart and dampens my spirit?

Do you know how much I wish that you are with me, whenever I have good times with my friends, to share delectable meals with you, to have meaningful conversations and warm embraces, even when I am struggling and feeling low... especially such times, are moments I need you most.

To feel your comforting presence, even when tears blind me... to breathe in your lifting fragrance, when I gasp for air... to hear your calming whisper, when everyone else's roars echo in my ears.

Where are you?

Why have you yet to come to me?

Why do you elude me?

Why is my search for you so long and tiring?

If I am flawed, help me mend me.

If I am inadequate, help me equip me.

If I have plans that you do not find worthy, help me make new ones.

What must I do, to earn your acceptance?

Dear... where are you... when I need you most?

$$$ vs. Life - Round One

2008-09-27T01:27:00.003+08:00

My exams are in a month's time. This means my campus life will - finally - come to a halt. This also means I must pursue a career after Christmas. It is not as sad as it sounds, at least for me; I am actually excited to join the rat race.

Alright, to those who already joined the workforce, as I should, your nostalgia on campus life is well perceived. Many has told me to enjoy while I can, which I really am! Glee. But at my age, my heart is not in studying academically, that is, and the desire to earn four digits to support myself and hopefully save enough for a house's down-payment in three years, clings on ever steadily.

Yes, some of you do not think I need to fret over this matter but the reality is, I must. No, my parents have no intention of kicking me out and my room can nicely accommodate two persons, if you know what I mean. Still, having a place of my own is a giant leap in adulthood.

Let's consider the pre-requisite first: money/cash/dough/moolah.

With my degree, and as according to most my friends, I should be able to nail a job that gives me a monthly 2k. I smell the stench of corporate positions in that notion. Corporate positions are something I can deal with, even though I do not truly feel I belong there. I often engage in whatever it takes to achieve a certain thing, even if it is not within my scope of expertise. I am willing to learn.

I know my transcript will not impress any employer and will most likely be a subject of mockery in an interview. So be it. I have my own arsenal. One thing that bothers me is that I am hardly worrying over not getting a job, and that my self-confidence might be my own undoing.

I admire my friends who took the challenge to commit to NGOs or even non-corporate organisations right after they graduate; most such places offer low wages for hardwork. I believe there must be a great deal of self-actualisation involved to remain motivated.

My most potential employers have noted to me "loudly" that I start low - with a mere 1.3-1.5k each month and work my way up - but the advantage is I will have the flexibility in working hours; this place is result-oriented. They are rather familiar with me and are fond of my character, which is a burden to me anyhow, because I wish to handle this job objectively without the excessive passion. They also wish that I build my career with them as they see a potential partnership with me in years to come. This place is just too familiar to me as well; it is in my residential area.

Lord, guide me in this one.

Amazing Grace, truly amazing

2008-09-20T02:25:00.009+08:00

When it comes to music theory, I am proud to know as much as a donkey does.

These days I have been a little motivated to absorp stuff I had not known, such as the Law of Fifths, Law of Fourths and other harmonics theories. As a guitarist and primarily a bassist, I delight in using pentatonics, 'cause it is easy and popular to use.

I watched this video some time ago, but I had no idea why I watched it again tonight. I thank God I did, as I discovered something new, even though I have been using it frequently.

There are such things as white notes/keys and black notes/keys. Just look at the keyboard (not your Mac's or PC's, you fool - the piano's). Back in the ages when slavery was a norm to the "civilised" world, slaves were disallowed from playing the white keys in fear that they might stain them; that left them only the black keys to play with. That is why the sharps and flats are also known as slave notes. Perhaps some of you already know this, that these notes form a pentatonic. Hence, if you have the time to look up on black hymns, you will find that it revolves around these set of notes. This does not mean that the white folks back then ignored them.

The most famous that we all know and love today is none other than Amazing Grace. Penned down by a white captain, but melody made by an unknown black slave aboard his ship. Perhaps the most reknowned hymn ever in history, for the both the lyrics and tune encapsulate a deep recognition of the Lord's salvation. This hymn is so global that it can be found in most known languages and there is no believer who is oblivious of it. Even non-believers turn to this hymn for solace.

There are other versions to this hymn's lyric, but the original is below. We have sometimes mocked the hymn by concocting it with variations or using it to facilitate a light moment. Call it creativity, improvisation or context, if you will. But to the unknown slave who composed the melody, it probably was his/her sacrifice of praise unto the Lord.

Even as you find this lyric familiar, take awhile to ponder what the Lord's Blood mean to you, how He has freed you from worldly slavery, and His Death to bring us to the Father.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That sav’d a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears reliev’d;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who call’d me here below,

Will be forever mine.

- John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)

Statistics

2008-09-10T17:08:00.006+08:00

Wow.

I have no clue how many of you keep tabs on your blog traffic.

I use Google Analytics. Just for fun. It is interesting though, to know how readers respond to certain posts. However, the results do not have an impressive reliability; high traffic does not necessarily mean a particular post is popular.

The first peak you see represents the post about my intention to move out; the second was about the previous post.

I could be wrong, but I posit that to earn peak visits one has to spend some effort in blog/post promotion. My channel would only be MSN Live Messenger.

Still, I take delight in having you burn time reading here.